FR: Resolve

Logistics: September 24th,25th 2014

Venues: The Fox, The Dark Horse
Girls: Madison, S

               This is going to be a field report of going out on Wednesday night, and day 2ing a girl I picked up on Thursday night. Let’s call her Madison.

               I get home with a buddy and we join the pregame for the concert we were going to. I decided not to drink on this particular night, because I had been drinking for an entire week straight before and the hangover was real. Instead I took some oxy and enjoyed the subtle changes that accompany its musical perception alteration. I resisted pressure to drink and didn’t have a single drink all night. We left the pregame with a crew of 10ish people, and headed to the venue, the Fox in Boulder CO.

               We got there and things were starting off slowly. Fort Knox, Little People's opener, was bad and my friends and I waited in the lobby and chatted. It was cool to see people that I wouldn’t for a while, and the conversations unhitched me into state to some extent.

               We go back into the venue and the opening act was finished. I spotted a cute girl who was my TA for a class I took and I opened telling her I recognized her. I asked who the guy she was standing with was, and she said it was her boyfriend. Can’t really do anything there, so we just had an interesting discussion about life as an EBIO major and our options for employment. Her boyfriend was cool and let us talk without interruption, he turned to his other friends instead. The music started up and our conversation ended. Little People (the DJ) was fucking phenomenal so for the rest of the night until we left I was entranced the music. Seriously go get Little People’s album We Are But Hunks of Wood now. 

                A girl in the crew I came with, S, was talking to me for a bit and we were dancing. This was cool, I felt like I had a chance with her because she hovered around me for some time. We danced but she wouldn’t get physical with me really mostly we were just in each others space, and then she began scurrying around our friends at the venue so I lost interest kind of.

               Then I saw a really sexy girl. Madison was wearing a red dress and dancing in her own way unlike anyone around. It was instantly attractive. She shot down one of the kids I came with trying to dance with her. I said fuck it and gave it a chance, in a way that wasn’t aggressive like the previous kid. I tapped her and told her I thought she was cute. Madison responded that I was cute as well. After that we kind of just danced near each other for a bit. I was kind of unable to dance and get into it though because I was taken aback by being up next to her and seeing how cute she was. I wasn’t really able to focus on the music anymore just on her. Then another girl who came with us, B, ran up and smashed me into Madison and squeezed me from behind. I was in a girl sandwich and getting social proof. I knew this wasn’t what Madison wanted though, as she ran away after. I said fuck it and went after her. I wasn’t about to give up because of B’s aggression. B is about 6’ 4” so she can manipulate smaller people like toy soldiers.

               I walked up to Madison and said “these big girls can’t take no for an answer”. I was asking her to protect me from B and this turned into a conversation about European travel. We were speaking closely into each other’s ears because the music was so loud. I was thinking about what my natural friend told me at this moment, which helped. He said to be different, to say things other guys who were boring wouldn’t. I used this advice to make her laugh and make dumb jokes that were out of the ordinary. Things were going well and I was thinking of trying to bounce her to a dark part of the Fox when B ran up again in a drunken stupor and smashed us together as if we were chess pieces. Again Madison ran away awkwardly and I was getting mad at her this time. I pushed her back and said that I didn’t need help but it was a bit too late and Madison had already run.

               I’m going to talk about this next part to illustrate some of Tyler’s ideas about dismissing negativity. TD from RSD talks about the point that you should dismiss negativity, and not let it influence your frame. I was talking to my buddy about being pissed at B for cock blocking me, and told him that I felt I was getting close to pulling Madison. Some guy behind me said “No you weren’t”. I shrugged and turned around from him. Good thing I dismissed him, because I pulled her later that night. I ran up to her outside the venue, and told her that I was sorry about B, and that she was doing better now I thought.

               I ended up getting her email because she didn’t have a phone, which was fine by me, because I want to pull her by any means necessary. She’s extremely sexy and I am changing my mindset to one of a closer instead of an ambivalent gamer who lets chips fall where they may. Fuck that, I ran after her twice after cock blocks and pulled her email. NEVER GIVE UP if she isn’t directly rejecting you.

               I emailed her all day yesterday when she was at computers, and we ended up meeting up at 1030 at a bar. We talked for a while and Madison was giving me the dilated pupil type of I’m really attracted to you look. I moved her up to the second floor and I told her that she was really attractive and I wanted to kiss her. She told me that she didn’t want to make out with me then, but that she wanted me to know that she found me really attractive. I didn’t need that affirmation, but it was sweet of her to give it. I backed off and waited for another opportunity. This is great though in fact, because she now saw that I'm the type of guy who goes for the kiss, even if I didn't get it instantly. This is useful to remember. It is always better to go for it, because you gain attraction whether or not you get it, and can only lose attraction if you don't go for it. 

               We went back to her house for wine and drank together, talking about our families and passions on her balcony. She was getting more attractive to me throughout the conversation, because her wit is really unmatched by any woman I’ve been with before. She is probably one of the smartest people I have ever met. We ended up making out on the couch for a bit, and I tried to stop the making out to talk more for a bit, but it didn’t really work. I was drawn back into the making out and couldn’t easily stop. I should have stopped it though, to show her that I have restraint and care about her personality as much as her physical appeal. That was all we did, she said she wasn't ready for sex. She kicked me out of her house at 12 because she had an early appointment the next day. I don’t really know if I could have busted through this to sex, I don’t think you always can.

               She told me to email her when I’m back in town to set something up. She suggested that she would come over to my place next time. This was a really fun pick up and I learned a lot from it. 

Thoughts/SP:

1. Not drinking can give you a useful clear head, allowing you to learn from watching much more

2. A setback is a cockblock only if you let it be, otherwise it just becomes a sloppier pickup

3. It is always better to go for a kiss, because you gain attraction whether or not you get it, and can only lose attraction if you don't go for it.