FR: 9/19/2015

I went out last night with Flow and his girlfriend. Also, a pretty cute girl that I convinced to come to Ott with me (the DJ playing). I was excited to go out with them, thinking it would be cool to hang out as a group. What happened was not what I expected at all.

We rolled up to the venue to see the show we had tickets for, and the girl I brought had forgot her ID. Flow forgot his card or something and went back to his house to bang his girlfriend and miss the whole show. 

 We decided to walk back to her car to get it. I had been trying to escalate a lot physically, thinking that it was the right thing to do, but looking back, I think I pushed it too far and miscalibrated the approach. I should have cooled it down and just been talking to her. She seemed a bit hesitant to be there, like she wasn’t drinking at all and just seemed kind of awkward. I was a bit intoxicated.

I kept trying to escalate and get her to kiss me or stay, but she just ended up leaving to drive to Newton. It was kind of upsetting, but a lesson that I will really have to hammer in with this point. If I miscalibrate by pushing too hard physically,the girl will just bounce out. I have to more actively look for indicators of disinterest and calibrate.

After she left I approached a girl to the side by herself. I asked her who she was and where she was from. I got physical pretty quickly and asked her for an eskimo kiss. We made out for a little while with talking in between. It was fun, and I got her number afterward. There is no real point in calling though because she lives too far away. She ran off to find her friend and I approached another girl by herself.

She was a little chubby but had a cute face, so I was willing to see where it went. I talked to her about salad in a sexual way, and it was kind of on. Like she must have found food fairly appealing lol. I just went for the kiss and we also made out for a little bit, but she was telling me she was really attached so she couldn’t fuck me. I kept telling her it wasn’t cheating, and that made her stick around a bit longer, but it obviously was.

After that I got blown out by a seated girl, who just wanted to listen to the music.

I’m not sure if I did another set after this or went right to the front left area, where I saw the first girl I made out with again. I grabbed her back in and started to kiss her again. Then I pushed her to the dance floor and started dancing with her to the music, which was really good. I had wanted to see this DJ for years. She asked me if I was rolling because I was being kind of aggressive with her. We went outside together and hung out while she smoked. I was being really physical still and pushing her up against the wall. I tried to pull her from there but it wasn’t going well. I told her there was an afterparty and that she should come, but she refused to come because she wanted to hang out with her friend. I don’t understand how to get past this shit.

Like is it just resistance or not? How the fuck do I stay out of the logical frame when she is asking me logical questions about where to go? It’s definitely a difficult aspect that I need to improve on. The set basically stalled out after this because I couldn’t pull her away from her non-chalant friend and convince her to come with. 

Thoughts/SP:

1. Pull knowledge is what I need, someone pitch in if you have advice

2. Don't miscalibrate escalation or it kills attraction

3. A shitty beginning can turn into a really fun solo night. I think my solo skills are improving from getting ditched so much lol

4. I think I was being overly sexual on the dance floor as well, which killed the momentum I could have built for taking her home. I should be less sexual on the dance floor and save the sexual stuff for when we are back at someones house. 

FR: 9/10/2015

  Tonight was kind of a mess, but there were some good things, perhaps. I just feel off for some reason. I had to just charge through tonight, and maybe will have to charge through many more nights before I get good. But at least I took action, and I even stayed sober. That's not easy for me, but staying sober was accomplished.

The first set I did was a walking girl. It was a bit bizarre, we walked down the street and turned around twice together to walk by the same shit 3 times. I fucked with her about how I eat only raw food. She was unattractive so it was just a warm up type of deal anyway in my mind. 

Next I walked up to two metal girls outside the Toxic holocaust show. One was very sexy and I chatted her up about bullshit and was messing with her, but her tubby friend was mad for some reason. She ended up wanting to leave and pulling her inside. Despite the cute one saying I was funny.

Next my wing Flow came and we started doing shit together. I opened a 3 set and asked them all to say there names in a line. I told a cute one there that my name was Tyree at first, and then she kept saying she would’t believe anything I said after. I should have gone with it and said I’m a lier, but I think I fell into her frame a bit and asked her why. We lost the set. I was feeling like I was behaving in a needy way and have to cut that shit out. They could probably sense that I reacted and lost interest quickly, like when my wing came in the thing was blown. 

Then I went directly into a 3 set and asked one of the girls what her name was, her friends actually seemed impressed and told me that I was forward in a kind of good way and let me talk to her for a second. I said that I was shy and that I didn’t know if I could handle the one I went for and it kind of blew up there. I probably should have tried to isolate or engage the whole set in a way that was more confident. 

We walked into Naga and the first girl I talked to was there and reengaged me. I was off to hotter options with Flow so I left her there. We went to the entry area and found out it was 25 to get in. The ticket girl was cute. We talked with some kids in line for a second and I had a far too boring conversation with this blonde girl. I should take some initiative to stop talking about such boring shit and add something interesting to my interactions.

We walked outside and I opened a 4 set. I started talking to a decent blonde girl. I isolated her by sitting her next to her friends, but she kept sort of turning her head to me and I had to say shit to get her attention. I think that was putting me in a low value spot or something. I’m not sure how to get a girl to focus on me more than the friends in this type of scenario. Like maybe I could have been more physical. One thing I found was that being physical was really hard sober. I feel really awkward and stiff going for any physicality, maybe I can improve on this somehow. 

Flow and I began to walk back to his place for a sec so he could send an email. We saw a two set on the way back and one of the girls was a fucking stunner Greek girl. She said “wow” bitchily when I forgot her name at first, and then kind of ignored me. I ended up replying with something kind of mean and that gained some interest. Then I said another kind of mean thing, that she said was rude. I can’t remember the content really. I should have said just kidding at this point, but forgot to address it. She also seemed really bored of me and gave little to no eye contact. I feel like I need to grab attention more strongly somehow.

Later I went back out by myself since Flow was emailing. I approached a girl on the street who seemed cool but it stalled out, and she was not willing to continue walking with me. I need to get better at getting out of a logical head space when walking with the girls to pull and going into pull talk and having a chill conversation.

I got back to Naga and hopped inside. There was a cover but it was fine. I saw a cute asian girl who really seemed like she wanted to be approached. I walked up to her and said hi and asked her her name. She spoke to me for a bit, but later she said she had a boyfriend. I asked if he was bigger than me, and she laughed. She asked me where I was from. I think I stumbled a bit here or the conversation stalled out when I went into her frame. I gave her a logical answer and it just died sort of.

Later I opened a blonde girl on the dancefloor, by telling her that she looks like she knows how to party. She said that was one of the better lines she had heard. So it stalled out in like a minute or so. I don't know what happened, but I think I was too logial again. It was just brutal. Like I don't know how to stay in a playful vibe type chill mode some nights. I was just having a hard time being sober. I definitely rely on drugs as a crutch in some ways.

The rest of the time on the dancefloor was shit and I couldn't really do much. I was acting chodey but there were not enough sets for me to do so I went outside.

I saw a girl by herself sitting alone, so I opened her. She was smoking weed and came to the show by herself. She was kind of tall but cute. We walked in together. Some girls like this are frustrating to talk to, she seemed really dazed and didn't contribute anything. We walked back in the show together.

Nothing notable happened back there, until later when I went back outside. The girl who lets people into the 2nd deeper part of the venue came out, and I sat with her in the outside area for a bit and talked. I tried to pull her when she got up to catch her lift to get some food, but to no avail.

Later the tall girl walked out, still alone, and said I could come with her, so I thought I could potentially pull, but in retrospect I think she just wanted to smoke some weed that I potentially had. I didn't have any, so she called her friend while walking with me and then headed to their house near harvard square. So basically my pulling ability is shit and I need to look into that.

Thoughts/SP:

1. Get better at bantering to keep attraction and add something more interesting to my demeanor
2. Learn to grab attention in a more dominant way when next to a girl
3. Get pulling on point