FR 10/5/2019

This night was pretty fun. Leo and I strolled into Lustre Pearl and started chatting a bit. He said he was in his head so I took the reins because I was feeling really stoked. I had a good week at work and was excited about my future.

I walked up to two girls standing at the railing near the entrance on the outside of it. I started chatting with them a bit but then I found out that one of them didn’t have their ID and had to leave. I was giving them a little shit for this and self amusing. This set was kind of a no go because of that. 

Leo and I walked into the bar and we were a bit surprised by the vast amount of people in there. I was looking for sets and I looked back out the window and saw a cutie standing outside. I told Leo I wanted to talk to her and he was like go for it man. I roll up and see that she’s in an all female 5 set with two 60 year oldish women. I started talking to all of them and she introduced me to them. They were her family including her mom. After an introduction I isolated her and she was making things really easy for me. I just had a good time vibing with her, she was super cute and happy. I followed her IG. One notable thing that happened was that she pointed to one of the older women in the set and said this is my mom. I responded with “you created a beautiful creature” and she seemed to really like that. Shortly after they were leaving the bar to go somewhere else, and I told the blonde that I approached to send me a picture of a cross asap (she said she worked at a megachurch e-commerce company lol). She responded with “I’m here until the 13th”. Woah, she was down. That was pretty awesome. I saw that she followed me back on IG shortly after that. I’ll be hitting her up again soon. It feels like talking to a hot girl with her family is totally acceptable and almost easier. Ultimately, she never responded to my message to her though, so perhaps I should have toned it down a bit and built more comfort. She seemed like her blueprint was centered toward comfort instead of value. I could have also interjected a plotline or something about her winning me over.

I walked up to a really hot girl in a mixed set with two girls and a guy in the venue and opened her directly. She was digging it and started talking to me while I was self amusing with her. The guy in the group with her started pulling her into him and making out with her so I figured that he must be the boyfriend or something. I then started engaging the whole group and joking around with them. I think I was being a bit too logical because it started dying and stagnating. I should remember to just have fun. I started talking to the other girl in the group so that I could get more social for the night starting. She was kind of lame and not giving me anything. I asked what her ethnicity was and she seemed offended. I think that she was kind of a boring person, but still, my vibe must have not been on point here. I need to remember to be relaxed and smiling to give off the feelings that I want others to feel. They ended up leaving and going somewhere else but I didn’t care much.

Leo and I met back up after this set. We went upstairs and I saw a pair of very hot women standing at the top of the stairs on the corner of the railing at Lustre Pearl. I started talking to one that I thought was the cuter one but it ended up that she was less cute. I need to look at my sets that I approach for a second before I walk up and figure out which I am more attracted to. I tend to be so jazzed that I run right in and don’t actually think about what girl I want or anything until I’m in set. This is something that I didn’t expect but it keeps happening. The set ended up going pretty okay, I was sort of talking to both of them though when I noticed that Leo wasn’t there anymore and the second girl was really hot. I think this lead to a friend kind of vibe. But still, it’s cool to see myself hitting the social hook point with two sets of girls that are that hot now. I could not do that shit just a month ago but now I feel a social presence that’s sort of like flow state beginning to emerge. I was joking with them about what I want to wear for Halloween. Also they liked New York so I was talking to them about that and shit. I felt like it was stalling out though ultimately, two sets are hard. I got both of their IG’s and then they bounced downstairs. I should be more proactive about targeting one girl in a two set or things start to die. In addition, be more proactive about finding a way to occupy the friend when I am in a two set if my wing is not around. 

I started a conversation with two blonde girls right nearby. They turned out to be nurses so I was asking them about random shit there, like have you ever been attracted to your patients and stuff. I was sort of using Brad’s idea about saying things that are kind of sexual but not creepy. I find that that stuff makes girls interested pretty consistently. I started by talking to both at once again, and I think I hit the social hook again. What happened though was that I actually started targeting one specifically. I tried to escalate with her verbally. I felt her stepping back from me a bit, but I don’t think I had the presence of mind to actually take that as a hint to step back myself. This is a big problem for me, and Leo noticed it and told me I do it also. I feel like that just killed the attraction and she started acting like super turned off and not looking at me anymore. I really need to stop making that mistake. It was quite hard though with the friend hovering there bored again. Leo was recovering at this moment from being a bit out of state. At least I actually focused on one girl after some time, but I think it was too late. In two sets, I should make my target clear faster.

I walked outside and started talking to a girl seated at a table. She seemed to say something about I can’t get this uber working right now or something. There was a pissed looking girl next to her and I didn’t understand why. Then I started talking to her a bit more and she seemed like kind of drunk but I couldn’t tell for sure. The pissed looking friend was like super assertive saying “no thanks we are fine.” She did this with a tone that suggested that her friend was too drunk for this or something, so I believed that that was in fact the case and I was like ok no worries and walked off.

I walked up to this super hot blonde girl and opened direct. She was a smoke show and I was sort of freaking out that it was working, even for a few seconds. I was really present at first and had a very sexual vibe. I was looking dead in the eyes. I distinctly remember losing my presence for a few seconds, and she lost attraction immediately. I can’t believe that this happened. It was like the most massive lesson I have felt in a while. Presence is king. She fucking knew that I lost it somehow. It must have clicked within her somewhere that I was receding into my head. I should have stayed there in the moment with her vibing, but it was like my brain didn’t want me to be with someone this beautiful. I still know logically that someone that is that sexy isn’t necessarily any better than me and is probably less cool, but the value she exudes still feels overwhelming emotionally. Then she began talking about how tired she was and started getting sort of out of it. She said she was super tired from the night before where she raged very hard or something. She said ok nice to meet you thanks bye and I was commanding and said no, talk to me longer. It actually worked. That was kind of a cool little breakthrough. You can often just override the girls initial goodbye test shit with some dominance fairly easily. I followed her on IG and she followed me back surprisingly. I might try to hit her up to hang out. 

I walked up to a new venue with Leo. It was called Meadowlark. I walked up to a set after I thought of a funny thing to say about Leo’s beard. I was just self amusing. I asked this girl if she could help me find Leo’s chin (he has a big beard). She was laughing and then we started chatting for a second. I think my eye contact was pretty on point. I can’t remember exactly how it went down, but I found some commonality with this girl I was talking to and I went in for a hug. She kissed me on the cheek and then we made out for a second. I thought that this meant that I crossed the attraction hook point, so I was trying to chill and vibe. I was pretty shocked that it happened so fast and I wasn’t really sure what to make of it. I started chatting with her about her life and was starting to get into a vibe with her when her friend came from the side and started pulling her away. I was kind of bummed that this happened. I think their night was ending, and perhaps I could have more persistently went with her. I could have tried to walk with her a bit or something, but that friend just pulled the girl I was speaking with away without even saying anything to me. That girl went though. This was kind of strange. I need to start trying to make things happen harder, because I probably bail too early and lose because of it more than I need to. In addition, I should have gotten the logistics so that I could expect the friend.

I started talking to a cute tall girl shortly after the last set ended. We were chatting about life and hobbies. I told her I am getting into salsa dancing. She asked me to show her some moves and we started dancing together a little bit. It’s cool to see girls escalating on me like this when I tell them that. I was having fun with her and she was engaged with our interaction. I really like using salsa dancing as a move, it’s surprising just how many girls are into dancing with me randomly when I bring up that I do it. I was vibing with her pretty well when her friend that Leo was talking to puller her away. That was shitty. I think our mistake here was that we didn’t lead them fast enough. We could have potentially anticipated that they were on their way somewhere and thought of a fun thing to suggest. Our lack of teamwork in getting logistics was one of the reasons why this was just lost almost right after it began. Logistics are super important to get because I keep getting blind sided by random shit that I couldn’t predict happening like a friend coming or like an uber getting there or whatever. 

I walked into Meadowlark and started looking around. I hadn’t been there before so I was getting a feel for the environment. Leo and I were going to the outer area when I saw a girl walking to the place I just came from. She and I locked eyes and she said that I was beautiful. I was really feeling it, so I sort of just went in for the kiss and got it immediately. I pulled away quickly because I didn’t want to be the make out guy. We talked for a minute or two about some bullshit like her attire. She said she needed to run to the bathroom. I responded with can I go with you. That was pretty weak. I should never ask a question like that honestly. I could have easily just started walking with her. She said she would be right back to find me and that I shouldn’t worry. I stupidly let that slide her. An hour or so later, I saw her in set with another guy, and walked in to try and blow him out. I think I was getting too logical in that attempt. Perhaps he had already hooked her too well. I tried to get her attention and I even got it for a second. I was asking her about her tattoo and I brought that back to my job lamely. Too logical. She and he ended up saying that they were good, which was lame and I felt that I lost it. I could have easily gone with her to the bathroom to keep control over the set. 

I opened a set with a girl and was talking to her for a few minutes. She was really hot, but she wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. It was getting frustrating, especially because I went on a tinder date with a girl like that the night before and that went terribly. It was weird because she was responding by she seemed uninterested at the same time. Perhaps, I could have been more commanding and trying harder to get her attention with leading tonality. Maybe a neg or something would have shown her that I am not just totally hers (something that might have been boring her). I ejected after a few minutes of this.

Leo opened a two set, one was a 6ish and the other was fat. This was quite boring feeling for me and I was not loving this situation. We ended up talking for a bit and was just bouncing around looking at other girls because it was hard for me to stay focused. I think that I was just not interested in this set at this point in the night because I was looking for something better. It ended when I randomly ran out because I saw two hot girls but then by the time I started approaching them they were already walking away. I think that I probably fucked it up with my non caring and running away randomly. 

I approached a two set with Leo, talking to the fat girl there / both of them at once. I literally was so in the moment at the time that I was not focused on a target. Also, Leo walked in with me and took the cuter girl, we sort of approached them at the same time, which they recognized was kind of forward and intense. I was really bored by about 15 minutes in because I didn’t like the girl I was speaking with at all and she was too drunk and grossly hitting on me aggressively. I think it was interesting to experience the hot guy blase though. I can learn from my behaviors in that interaction, which were clearly not giving a fuck, bored and looking around a lot, saying whatever shit came to my mind, and not intently looking and facing the girl after the hook. That made me more attractive as the set went on, despite my not wanting to bang that girl at all. Later, Leo made some joke about rape and the girl I was talking to started hating him. She convinced the girl he was talking to that Leo was trouble and then turned her on him. I didn’t care that much because I was wanting to leave a lot earlier. Talking to Leo later, it turns out he wanted to bounce earlier as well. We realized from that discussion later that we need to have better communication in set, and check in with each other more. Overall, this set was a massive waste of time.

I approached a hot group of two girls back at Lustre Pearl. The brunette was sad because some guy she liked didn’t like her and was getting with some other girl or something. This was a weird frame to enter into. I’m not sure what my good options were here, so I went with the frame of I’m better, now you met me, and that was sort of good. She and I talked for a second, but I think I was getting too logical and she got bored and like ran away shortly. I def need to stop doing that, and to communicate emotionally more. I did use a more commanding frame to get her to stay a bit longer. This was the second time that that worked that night, which was cool. I like using that commanding vibe to force yourself into the RAS. 

I talked to a taller blonde outside lustre pearl in the twilight hour where the girls were leaving the club. She and I started off on the wrong foot for some reason that I can’t quite remember. I was talking to her about her entrepreneurship and the fact that she was starting her own business or something. This was wrong and way too logical again. I need to fight the logical default frame that I constantly fall into. This is not helping me, because it feels hard to escalate when you are being so damn logical. It’s kind of like getting a sexual vibe from and interview, and that doesn’t promote hot one night stand kinds of thinking.

I spoke to a blonde girl with really engaging eyes outside the bar. As soon as I approached some guy there was hating it. He kept trying to bully me and saying annoying things throughout the set, and it was frustrating. My response was to ignore him, and stay talking to the girl. I should have at least addressed him a bit. Leo was off distracting the two girls in that mixed set for me. That was cool of him, but the guy was getting more and more standoffish and even pushed me. He was angry, and probably had a fragile ego or something. I think my ignoring was a form of reacting also though. I should have at least addressed him, saying “that's awesome bro or something.” The conversation with the girl was fun and emotional, but she was waiting for the uber line and this guy kept interjecting so it was hard to maintain my frame. I was into her, but she wouldn’t even give me her IG if I recall correctly after the conversation ended. I probably should have gotten logistics to figure out if I could deal with them, and maybe escalated more physically. It was interesting to be non-reactive with that guy there though, I felt like that gave me some value in her eyes. Ultimately I pissed him off though, I could have dealt with that better.

Thoughts / SP:

• It’s totally cool to approach with the family there
• Use plot lines to create more tension and a story
• I am consistently being a bit too logical X 4
• I should be relaxed and smiling to give off the feelings that I want others to feel.
• I need to look at my sets that I approach for a second before I walk up and figure out which I am more attracted to, especially with a wing, because that’s confusing for them
•  I should be more proactive about targeting one girl in a two set or things start to die. X 2
• Be more proactive about finding a way to occupy the friend when I am in a two set if my wing is not around.
• I need to have the presence of mind to actually observe when girls step back and take that as a hint to step back myself.
• Losing my presence for a few seconds can kill attraction immediately. Conversely, staying completely present can pump it very hard.
• Being commanding can get a girl not to leave, but it’s coming from a frame where you were already rejected, so it’s suboptimal
• I probably bail too early and lose more sets than I would otherwise.
• Get the logistics so that I can expect the unexpected. X 2
• I really like using salsa dancing as a move, it’s surprising just how many girls are into dancing with me randomly when I bring up that I do it.
• Lead fast after getting them hooked.
• I should never ask a question the puts the girl on the hook to lead. Just go with or lead.
• If the girl seems bored or doesn’t make eye contact I could try going harder to blow it out or make it hook
• Hot guy blase behaviors that can pump attraction: clearly not giving a fuck, bored and looking around a lot, saying whatever shit came to my mind, and not intently looking and facing the girl after the hook.
• Have good communication with your wing in set and check in more.
• Address the guy at least a bit if he is trying to cock block you and he is a friend in the set
• Not reacting at all actually is reacting because it’s so deliberate 

FR 9/22/2019

I had a shorter night out last night. I couldn’t find any wings, but I went out with my friend Thomas and a with a girl that he is seeing. This at least got me out and then I did some approaches when I found them in Denver. 

We started the night pretty lamely at a bar called Brothers. This place is quite ratchet and so are the people. I approached a super hot two set with Thomas at the bar. I was plowing with my girl as usual and it started to hook after a few attempts. Thomas was drunk and was blowing it with his girl pretty badly. I looked over and she seemed like she was just standing there staring at Thomas with him looking bashfully or something. I knew this was bad, and perhaps I should have stepped in to try and dominate both of their attention at that moment. But instead I just was plowing through and self amusing with my girl. I felt that I was about to hook when the girl Thomas was speaking with pulled her away. I think in the future I can try to be more cognizant of wings that are hammered and try to monitor their side of the set a bit more.

I then moved over to two girls to the right of that set and began talking to them. They were not very attractive but I was still warming up so I thought that it would be fine and that I would play it as hard as possible for practice. I started flirting with the one on the left, and got her smiling and sort of interested. She was getting distracted with paying though and as a result I didn’t get very much attention from her. I then switched to the other girl because she was paying attention. I think this set went okay overall, it was just for warming up. I did experience the way that sets die quickly if you switch targets though. Focusing on the one girl you like in a set with multiple people is the way to go I think. I would only switch if you are with a wing and you both want to switch. 

Then I started talking to a pretty cute girl at the bar next to them. She was in a two set. I was talking to her for a bit and just shooting the shit and being self amusing and kind of a challenging dick. I was asking her “how do I watch tv” and other dumb shit etc. She was laughing and seemed to dig it. I told her that I loved her look and she was sort of insecure and said she just got out of bed with that. It was actually going well, but then her friend that was doing something at the bar pulled her attention away toward something random happening on the table. Maybe they were reading a menu or something? It was still an early part of the night, but she basically just back turned and I didn’t know what to do in this situation. So I left. I suppose that I could have been more commanding or just stuck around here. Like hey just two seconds, now! Stuff like that to show that I mean business. 

Thomas and his girl and I went outside to get some food at a Mexican food truck. I was loudly talking about how Thomas’s friend is an idiot because of her annoying obsession with burning man when a hot girl turned around and joined the conversation with us. I started vibing with her and joking around. I found out that we were from the same area in Massachusetts. I used that to get a high five. It was sort of strange to escalate on her because she was holding a quesadilla but I was doing my best to ramp it up. I need to remember to come from the frame of touching a girl because she is hot instead of having an agenda. That doesn’t exactly jive well with other people who just want to chill. Anyway, the conversation started to go stale after I asked about how that girl and her friend met. They said that they met through bumble bff. I used a joke that I heard Brad say about how he doesn’t use online dating because the girls there just want to fuck him and never call him back. So right here things started to go wrong because my girl didn’t realize that I was joking. I think that if I say that line, I need to say it with a challenging and joking smile on my face. She was a little drunk and not picking up on subtleties. This is something that I should always do so that people know I am joking. I think my facial expressions are still a bit out of sync with my words. She started to think that I was a needy guy because of this and I was getting ruthlessly punished. Later she said “I’m not having sex with you tonight”. I’m not sure if this was a shit test or if she was legitimately disgusted because she thought that I would be needy. I think that I should probably eviscerate anything that makes me seem needy in anyway from my game like that line. It might just not work for me, or maybe save it for some self amusement or day game. I responded with I don’t know you well enough, and she said “I have had sex with a lot of guys that I didn’t know that well”. This seemed like my dream girl at this point, but I was so startled that someone would say this and at the direction the conversation was going that I just froze up for a second. Then her friend pulled her away somewhere at the next instant. I may have been able to save it, but I didn’t chase her at that moment. Perhaps I should have thought about the friend more seriously and anticipated this. I also could have tried to be more commanding to get her to stay. This was a good reference experience though, that girl was really hot and the pain of my mistakes is palpable.

I walked up to a girl standing in a mixed set. She said that she had a boyfriend. I used the you should do it for the relationship line. She said that she had already been there or something. I told her that I was a Russian Jew and that we are irresistible. She said she was already dating one lol. I tried to keep vibing with her but it felt off and she started ignoring or something. I ended up leaving her alone. I think this was a decent amount of attempting and it was pretty funny. 

I walked up to a blonde girl smoking a cigarette hanging against the railing. She was ok looking so I didn’t care that much. I was finally getting into the zone a bit so I was just joking with her and busting on her smoking. Telling her she’s gonna die etc. She seemed to be digging me and said she was having a good night because she just kissed a girl she likes. This was very interesting to me as you might imagine. We kept bullshitting when a hot Japanese girl came up to us. I told the new girl that I loved her and started joking around with her and escalating a bit. I did the prom dance with her and kissed her neck. It was good that I was doing that stuff, and I was trying to see where I could push this interaction. The Japanese girl started being a bit standoffish, saying she didn’t believe me about things that I was saying. I was not sure if this was flirting or an indication that she was creeped out by me. She went along with all my escalation so I went in for the kiss and got a head turn. The white girl noticed and acted surprised. I used statements of empathy to reel it back, saying that I was excited to be there or had low blood sugar or something. I went back to the white girl and was joking with her and was saying she was hot. Then the Japanese girl went in for another kiss on the white girl and I was pretty stoked. I tried to pull myself into there to do a three way kiss but the Japanese girl pushed me away. I must have miscalculated her attraction levels. Perhaps if I had flirted with her more and established a relationship more she would have been receptive to that. I need to ensure that I have a high point and have passed the sexual hook with both girls if I try crazy shit like that. Maybe the best move for me was to just chill for a bit and try again after I was sure the Japanese girl was into me also. The set ended when the blonde girl asked if I had cocaine and I responded by asking if she had MDMA (I was attempting to self amuse but it came off as serious because I wasn’t smiling). I need to remember to smile when I say ridiculous shit. The Japanese girl heard that and was like okay this is getting weird and pulled her away. It’s kind of funny that she thought things were getting weird from the drugs talk and not from me attempting to make out with both of them lol. 

Thoughts / SP:

• Try to dominate the attention of both girls if your wing is losing it for a second
• Be more cognizant of wings and try to monitor their side of the set more
• Focusing on the one girl you like in a set with multiple people is the way to go
• Be more commanding or just stick around longer when necessary X 2
• Come from the frame of touching a girl because she is hot instead of having an agenda
• Say jokes with a challenging and relaxed smile on my face X 2
• Anticipate the friends behaviors
• Statements of empathy are the shit