FR: 9/19/2015

I went out last night with Flow and his girlfriend. Also, a pretty cute girl that I convinced to come to Ott with me (the DJ playing). I was excited to go out with them, thinking it would be cool to hang out as a group. What happened was not what I expected at all.

We rolled up to the venue to see the show we had tickets for, and the girl I brought had forgot her ID. Flow forgot his card or something and went back to his house to bang his girlfriend and miss the whole show. 

 We decided to walk back to her car to get it. I had been trying to escalate a lot physically, thinking that it was the right thing to do, but looking back, I think I pushed it too far and miscalibrated the approach. I should have cooled it down and just been talking to her. She seemed a bit hesitant to be there, like she wasn’t drinking at all and just seemed kind of awkward. I was a bit intoxicated.

I kept trying to escalate and get her to kiss me or stay, but she just ended up leaving to drive to Newton. It was kind of upsetting, but a lesson that I will really have to hammer in with this point. If I miscalibrate by pushing too hard physically,the girl will just bounce out. I have to more actively look for indicators of disinterest and calibrate.

After she left I approached a girl to the side by herself. I asked her who she was and where she was from. I got physical pretty quickly and asked her for an eskimo kiss. We made out for a little while with talking in between. It was fun, and I got her number afterward. There is no real point in calling though because she lives too far away. She ran off to find her friend and I approached another girl by herself.

She was a little chubby but had a cute face, so I was willing to see where it went. I talked to her about salad in a sexual way, and it was kind of on. Like she must have found food fairly appealing lol. I just went for the kiss and we also made out for a little bit, but she was telling me she was really attached so she couldn’t fuck me. I kept telling her it wasn’t cheating, and that made her stick around a bit longer, but it obviously was.

After that I got blown out by a seated girl, who just wanted to listen to the music.

I’m not sure if I did another set after this or went right to the front left area, where I saw the first girl I made out with again. I grabbed her back in and started to kiss her again. Then I pushed her to the dance floor and started dancing with her to the music, which was really good. I had wanted to see this DJ for years. She asked me if I was rolling because I was being kind of aggressive with her. We went outside together and hung out while she smoked. I was being really physical still and pushing her up against the wall. I tried to pull her from there but it wasn’t going well. I told her there was an afterparty and that she should come, but she refused to come because she wanted to hang out with her friend. I don’t understand how to get past this shit.

Like is it just resistance or not? How the fuck do I stay out of the logical frame when she is asking me logical questions about where to go? It’s definitely a difficult aspect that I need to improve on. The set basically stalled out after this because I couldn’t pull her away from her non-chalant friend and convince her to come with. 

Thoughts/SP:

1. Pull knowledge is what I need, someone pitch in if you have advice

2. Don't miscalibrate escalation or it kills attraction

3. A shitty beginning can turn into a really fun solo night. I think my solo skills are improving from getting ditched so much lol

4. I think I was being overly sexual on the dance floor as well, which killed the momentum I could have built for taking her home. I should be less sexual on the dance floor and save the sexual stuff for when we are back at someones house.