FR: Holly Jolly Santacon

12/6/2014

I went out dressed as Santa Claus tonight. It was a Santacon spectacle. 

Here is what happened:

I approach one girl in a group of 5 girls. Her name was Jen, but that was the last thing I heard from her before I ejected from the set. It was going decently well, but I remember Jen stepping away from me backward while we were talking. I was doing better than I usually do for a first opener… I was trying to use Jeffy’s idea of saying something other than hi to initiate the conversation. Good afternoon worked far better than hi normally does to his credit.

We bullshitted but I can’t remember about what exactly. Her friend to the left of me started interjecting. She pulled my Santa beard on my face then started dancing. It seems like she was maybe doing this as a shit test or just to see what I would do. Jen seemed to ignore me once my attention was on her friend. Then they were both ignoring me so it got awkward and I left. I probably should have stayed in set but it was getting weird. Maybe I should work on not ejecting honestly. I can’t remember what we talk about at all god damn, drinking is not good for remembering gaming.

The next girl I approached walked in front of me at the bar… like she was going to cut me. I asked her if she could buy me a drink since she would get drinks sooner than me anyway. Her friend behind her was really cute and so I asked her what she was dressed as. She said she was a snowman. She didn’t give me her undivided attention, and kept looking between her phone and her friend buying the drinks. I should maybe try to get undivided attention harder if possible in these situations. It seemed like it wasn’t happening with her. I reinitiated when she was fucking with her little hat which was on her head that looked like a birthday cone. I made them laugh about it but again it stalled out. 2 sets are hard, because the friends keep distracting the girl. I need to only do two sets if I have a wing. I just walked away because it wasn’t going anywhere.

The next set I did was outside the venue. There was a really cute girl so I walked up to her and asked her if she would be my Mrs. Claus. She was smiling and seemed receptive. However she was looking at her friend and the friend seemed unhappy with me hitting on the girl. She was eventually said “bye” to me in a pretty rude way. It is kind of shitty that these friends don’t give their homies a chance. I tried to stay and save it for a bit but I don’t really know what to do in that situation. Her friend was just awkwardly trying to get me to leave (I just remembered that I should try Tyler’s attempt at disabling the cock block by offering to buy the friend dinner). My buddies were leaving the set so I just rolled the fuck out with them.

So later I did a set in the next bar we went to. I opened the set by spilling my drink on their feet by accident because someone walked into me (LOL). So that one went fairly well, I talked to her for like twenty minutes, but honestly it ended up going nowhere. We had a sort of ongoing joke about her being santas helper and me being santa but that seemed to be the only topic of the conversation and when I tried to move it forward it didn’t exactly go anywhere. Anyway I had a good revalation from this set. It was that when people call me young, or say I’m too young to be hitting on them (which happens quite a bit) I can reframe this. The way I did it was by saying “you guys aren’t that old, c’mon now!” So this assumes that I am not young, just that they have low self-esteem, and I am boosting their confidence actually. It is a pretty simple frame control adjustment. I will have to use this in the future. The set stalled out and I tried to use social proof to get back in a bit by interacting with my friends, which they walked near. But this didn’t work, because I tried to take a selfie with the girl but she wouldn’t do it when I reengaged. Maybe I should allow more time to take place between sets? I don’t really know but the thing failed so I moved on.

The last set I did was a disaster because I couldn’t hear the girl. But I approached her with a natural friend of mine and learned a bit from watching him. He was very grounded when talking to his girl. He seemed like he was getting somewhere with her when the girl I was trying to talk to pulled his girl away because our conversation was going nowhere. I have to be more relaxed I think, it seems to go well this way.

Thoughts/SP:

1.       1. I just remembered that I should try Tyler’s attempt at disabling the cock block by offering to buy the friend dinner

2.       2. Deflect the young shit test by assuring the girl she isn’t old

3.       3. Be more laid back and unreactive

4.       4. Do more sets

5.       5. Learn how to keep attention better or demand it

6.       6. Stay in set longer/ don’t eject