Learning What to Avoid FR

I went out last night to Denver. It was a Friday night. I’m trying to become better at this than I ever have been at this point. My current goal is to be someone who can cold approach effectively and pull 8’s and 9’s consistently. I want a solid rotation of them. This is no easy task obviously. Here is a summary of the night.

I drive to Denver and walk into La Rumba alone. I walked around for a bit aimlessly, too scared to talk to some of the pretty women I saw. As I did this I was regretting it. I need to start taking more initiative on my nights out and making a point to talk to more of women. There is only so much time that I have left in this world. I eventually get the balls to walk up to a girl and say hey. This approach was shit and I couldn’t even look her in the eye. I was kind of in my head. The guy next to her put up a block hand symbol to my face. I assumed they were together as he started walking away with her. Well, first approach down at least. I began taking some fucking action.

A few minutes later I saw a super beautiful woman standing alone behind me. I walked up to her and said “you’re very pretty, I had to come meet you”. I like opening direct, I feel like it’s congruent with my very transparent personality. We started chatting for a second and then she asked me how old I was. I told her I was 27 and this seemed to put her off. She was like “you are too young for me” immediately. I tried to plow through this but it kept coming up. She said she knew she looked young but that she actually had kids and was old. She kept saying that I was very cute but too young. It was impressive to see how much of a boundary this woman had. I think that she is probably right in a sense that I am too young for her because I would not be interested in helping out with this womans kids, I just wanted a one night stand, obviously. So if she isn’t into that then there would be no way for us to be together basically. She must have been looking for something serious. I wonder if I could have pushed through this, but I ultimately ended up asking her “is it a problem that I am younger?” And she said yes, so I said have a good night and walked off. I am not sure if the right thing to do in this case would be to stay in set until she leaves or not instead of leaving voluntarily, but I feel like that would be fucking weird if I stayed. I’m not sure honestly. 

After this, I salsa danced with a very cute girl that I saw. I have been learning salsa, I find that helps a lot with game because you have a natural way to escalate physically with any girl there without needing to talk. She was super hot with a not attractive friend. I think I kind of blew it after the song ended because I stood there kind of confused instead of taking initiative to move our interaction forward. I need to avoid that in the future after I dance. I should move more quickly to get our interaction more cemented. 

Then I ended up sort of hanging around La Rumba stupidly and not talking to women. I didn’t see very many opportunities and I was getting sort of bored. I decided to go meet up with a new wing at a club close by called the Temple. I headed there and then got in and met up with him. I chatted with him for a bit and he seemed like a solid guy. We went in to go do some sets. He took me to the rap room and he opened a two set standing between two columns. The girl he chatted with was decently cute, so I decided to talk to the other one to wing him. I wasn’t sure if I was attracted to my girl or not. As I chatted with this girl, it turned out we had a lot of commonalities and she seemed to be loving me. I didn’t really feel any attraction growing for her though. It was kind of dwindling for me and I felt like I wanted to get out of there to go find a better girl for me. Leo came back and I used that as a way to eject. We then decided to go check the outside to see what was out there. I saw a really sexy girl. I decided to approach her.

I walked up to her and told her that she was really pretty and I had to meet her. She was loving it and I had about 15 seconds of conversation with her until some tattooed guy emerged from hanging by the wall next to us. He started talking to me and so I had to engage because it was awkward with him standing right there and staring at me, and I figured he was the boyfriend by then. I asked him how they all know each other and he explained that he was in fact the boyfriend, so we exchanged some pleasantries and I wished them a good night and left. 

I went back into the club and saw this hottie asian girl standing by herself near the corner of the rail on the second floor of the club. I approached her with my standard line and she was seeming to be into it. I thought she was really cute and I asked her where she was from and she said Nederland. I assumed she meant the Nederland near Boulder. This misunderstanding cost me some time unfortunately. I assumed she lived 25 minutes away from my house in Boulder (in Nederland), but in reality she lived in the Netherlands in Amsterdam. I spent another 30 minutes hanging with her in the club while she was obsessively thinking about finding her friends. That shit was lame as fuck. I don’t really care about her goal to find her friends and I was getting bored by this constant thought of hers. Finally we went outside and could hear each other. This was when I realized that she was actually from the Netherlands and had a flight back at 7am in the morning. The logistics were far worse than I realized for pulling her. Besides that, when I told her that I wanted to take her home she not reciprocating interest in that. This was a dying interaction at this point. It was confusing because she seemed totally into me escalating physically and stuff. When I asked her if she wanted me to stay she said she wasn’t sure. This uncertainty is a bad sign. Maybe this is a sign that I should take more seriously later. I want the girls who are sure. I tried to push and make shit happen. I was wondering if I could push it in my favor given that she was ok with being physical with me and legit not sure. Eventually, she was like I’m gonna go find my friends now. I was kind of okay with that and ready to move on. I wasted a bunch of time here which was lame. I think I need to screen harder and faster for girls with more interest in getting pulled, and ramp attraction harder. 

The last set that I did was a girl that I saw in the rap room. She was a sexy Thai girl. We locked eyes for like 2 seconds and she looked away and went to the bar. I felt that it was on so I went up to her and did my typical approach. She was happy to speak with me and seemed turned on, but she told me that she was married with kids. She said her husband was away on a trip. I asked her if they were monogamous and she said yes. That was kind of a bummer because she seemed super down. I was like could I still pull this girl? I didn’t know, but I felt that the answer was probably no. I tested her compliance by asking if she wanted to go outside for a second. I probably just should have been more authoritative and moved her, but I don’t know if that would have worked anyway because her friends were in the rap room and she didn’t want to leave them. The compliance test failed basically. Then she asked me if I wanted to dance, and I was down because she was damn hot. I danced with her for like 6 or 7 songs and she was grinding me. I was super into that, but I think ultimately this was another waste of time because she was fucking married with kids. Her friends were right there judging and acting sort of weird about it also, they were two unfit lesbian women and one of them seemed sort of angry (pushed me very hard while I was dancing on my girl). The club was getting shut down at this point and I said bye to her and left. Perhaps I could have pushed harder, but I don’t know if I could have convinced her friends to be okay with this. Seems like this shit was a waste of time ultimately that could have been avoided. I then left and went home because I had an ankle sprain throughout all this shit and it was beginning to really hurt.

Thoughts/SP:

- When dancing with girls, make sure to take initiative after the song ends
- Screen harder to find out if a girl is interested romantically sooner
- Be willing to ditch sooner if things seem like a waste of time
- Logistics are key, make them the priority
- Lead harder
- Do more approaches, have no shame