Day one of my first RSD bootcamp featuring with Jeffy and Brad (assistant) at Lustre Pearl Denver
I just had night one of my first bootcamp (not sure if I’ll do another yet). That was fun. I watched Jeffy’s hotseat and then we went out afterward to a place called Lustre in Denver. There were six other bootcamp attendees.
We exited the van that we rolled up in, and I decided to start taking action immediately. I started the night out by talking to some dude in line. This sort of helped me with getting into a social place quicker. I like doing some easy warm up sets actually because you start getting the social wheels turning. I spoke with him until I got into the venue, then I walked up to a couple sitting together outside near the entrance. I started joking with them and making them laugh. I can’t remember what I said exactly, but it was something like that the girl had nice tattoos. Also I joked about weed being stupid after they told me they were growers. I had them laughing which they appreciated. After a minute or two of this I headed inside.
I talked to a two set of girls sitting near the wall. I can’t remember exactly how it went but I think I started self amusing in a way that wasn’t super useful / being socially over the line for a second. I made a joke that the fatter girl had cancer because she had all these freckles and tried to be chill about it but it was coming off sort of strangely. Then I was talking to the other girl and asking where she was from. I felt that she was giving a disappointed look to her friend or something so I said Jeffy’s line about I get the sense that you are patronizing. She then said she wasn’t and it was awkward. I think that I was just not free flowing yet and acting sort of strangely at this point. Maybe if I just tried to relax and have fun, but self amuse in a way that was more socially acceptable it would have worked out better.
After this I walked upstairs and started talking to some other dude on the second floor. I was trying to get myself more stoked to be there using the approach all strats that Jeffy said we should use. Then I walked to the bar where another bootcamp guy was, I think his name was Patrick. I spoke with him for a second before I opened a girl next to us. She was really hot and I opened her directly. She actually seemed to like the open, but she said that she was taken. Her bf was literally right there next to her. Then she said she had a friend who really liked single guys. She grabbed the friends hand and pulled her to me. I thought the friend was pretty cute and was talking to her for a minute or two. Then Patrick came into the set and started trying to help out, but it was kind of shitty because he didn’t ask me what the situation was and just started talking to that girl that got yanked to me and like left with her. I was a bit bummed about that because she was hot but I still learned that sometimes if you approach like a boss and the girl is taken she will hand you her friend. That’s pretty damn cool. Also, I learned that you need to ask your wing what the deal is when you head into set so that you don’t make the mistake that homie did.
Right after they left, a girl walked up and I pulled her in to approach. She wasn’t exactly my type, she was like a 5 or a 6, but I decided to bullshit with her for a while to get more momentum. She and I bonded over the fact that we are engineers. I think I should have used this as an opportunity to practice escalating physically. Brad told me later that the best guys all do that and I think more practice couldn’t hurt. The set was going well but I was getting bored after like 10 to 15 minutes and wanted to see if I could find a cuter girl so I bounced.
I got into a conversation with Patrick and that girl I was speaking with earlier. He gave me a great intro and there was a super cute girl in set with them. I started speaking with her and escalating verbally. I was telling her that I loved her etc. and she was into it. She was saying that she wanted to marry me and that she loved me also or something. I remember thinking like ok this is actually going well and being confused by that. I should have taken this opportunity to be more physical with her somehow. In addition, I need to stop doing the back touch thing because all guys do that and that shit puts me in a lame category immediately when I do it. I kept trying to keep it going but she was walking back into an awkward spot between a chair and a table or something. This made for a shitty place to be speaking to one another and her eyes started darting around, looking to other stuff. Ultimately, she ran off saying she wanted to say hi to a friend and that she would be right back. This was some bullshit I was bummed because she was super hot and I missed another shot. I should have lead her 2 feet away from that awkward spot to another place and started escalating physically there.
The next set I remember was one that happened right after I spoke with Jeffy for a second. I saw him walk in and he asked me about who was here for like 10 seconds, then he said what’s next. I looked around and saw a set to our left and ran in there and opened this girl that I didn’t think was very attractive, but it was still earlyish and I wanted to get more social momentum going. I was speaking with her for a while about random shit. She told me she was from Arizona and I told her about how I went to Seligman and caught ferrets there. I spoke with her about neuroscience and how I used to study motivation. I saw the instructors standing behind her in my field of view and watching me, taking notes. That was a bit distracting but it was cool to see them trying to watch and see my flaws. Soon Brad started making some hand signals but I didn’t know what he meant. He then told me while walking by to increase the physical escalation. I started getting closer on that girl and pulling her in and shit, doing the weird hand on the back thing again lol. I need to cut that shit out. The reason to cut it out is because that’s what everyone does. Instead, I need to stay squared up and look the girl in the eye. Escalate with words and with hand touching. I ejected after this because it was dying and I wasn’t attracted. Brad told me that the best guys escalate physically on all girls, to get in the flow of it and practice more. I’m going to start practicing that shit way more because that feels like my biggest flaw now.
The next set that I did was a blonde girl that Brad pointed out. I walked up to her and opened her directly. She was loving it, but her boyfriend leaned over about 3 seconds later and said that they were together. He was like very very chill about it though and said that it was cool that I was approaching that way and that I could talk to her if I wanted, just not fuck her lol. She was also really pleased by it and seemed happy that she got the compliment. I ended up asking her if any of her friends were single that I could switch to, but she said they weren’t I ended up just wishing them a good night and heading out. This was interesting though because you are usually scared when approaching a girl with a boyfriend but chill people are really nice about it a lot of the time.
The next set that I remember was a group of two girls sitting down. Normally, I don’t like approaching sitting girls but I was just feeling it so I went for it. I opened with the Jeffy classic “I’m Chinese and I love balls”. That shit is hilarious and the girls were laughing super hard. I ended up talking to the one I was less attracted to when this dude came in from the bootcamp and started talking to the hotter one. I didn’t care that much, but it was a little annoying. I can’t really get mad at these guys thought they are literally just starting and probably don’t have the awareness to care about their wings or understand what is happening calmly. I was speaking with the uglier girl for a few minutes, and she was laughing super hard. I started to get the feeling that she was really drunk so I was feeling a little bad about speaking with her and wondering if I should actually try to hook up, also I was unsure of if I was attracted to her in general. Brad signaled to me to go in for a neck kiss, so I went in after some hesitation to do it. I hovered for like way too long after kissing her neck. Physical escalation has to be more of a playful in and out type thing. They got up and left and were real wasted, that was kind of weird.
After this I chatted with Brad for a second and he gave me a bit of advice. The conversation was lulling so I went to do another approach. I saw a super hot ginger girl and I went to talk to her. This is probably the cutest girl I talked to all night. I was really into her look and vibes. I think the logistics were just fucked though. We chatted about how we both like nature and she was just a happy and centered person in general which was really attractive to me. I was escalating with my words, but her friend was there the whole time and made this a bit more difficult. Her friend was sitting about 3 inches away from her in a sort of little spoon position. They were kind of sharing a chair. One thing that I did well was after I opened the ginger I liked, her friend turned her head toward me and I engaged her. I said “I was like, what’s up? I like your friend or something.” That actually bought me more time. I did a good job of engaging the friend instead of ignoring to show that I was chill and socially aware. This was good of me because I could have ignored it and looked unaware (something I have done in the past). Earlier during the Hotseat Jeffy was saying to address the friends briefly. I was trying to escalate more with the ginger that I liked, but it was kind of strange because the friend was listening in. I used Jeffy’s ridiculous line about how I wanted to do nasty shit to her, like get married and have kids and live our golden years together. Half way through that the friend turned her head in and said ok good night nice to meet you or something. I asked my girl if she wanted me to leave, and what she was that her friends ex boyfriend was here and that she was having to take care of her or something. I mean it felt like she didn’t want me to leave but the friend was just feeling sad and left out or something. So at this point what I probably should have done was just get the insta and bounce. I ended up just hanging around and talking for longer. Another kid from the bootcamp even came in and occupied my girls friend for a bit, but then they went to the bar. Some instructor yelled to go with them saying that we love water lol, so Tyler (bootcamp guy who approached my girls friend) and I went with, sort of confusedly trying to get back in the interaction / see if they were still receptive. This sort of ended with them going downstairs after a second. I’m not sure if there was really anything I could have done there. I guess sometimes pulling is just not a thing and you have to settle for the insta or digits or whatever. That’s what Brad told me after this set as well, which was useful feedback.
I think after this Brad was like let’s go outside, so we went to the front outdoor area of Lustre. I went and opened a cute asian girl in the middle of a mixed set. She immediately told me that the guy to her right was her boyfriend but he wasn’t saying anything and I figured I’d stick around and chat for a second. She and her friends were trying to become clinical pharmacists girls so I made fun of them for hoping that the opioid crisis would never go away. This was fun and self amusing and I think they liked it. I was trying to err on the side of being more riskay as much as possible throughout the night, as we were instructed to do this anyway and it was making my night more fun. Brad came in and it was impressive to watch him work. He really took control of the set and was super grounded and funny. Like he brought the fun super well and it was really entertaining. It was pretty awesome to watch him because he is the best guy I’ve ever seen at this shit in person so far, Jeffy was concentrating on students so I didn’t really get to see him work. Brad even ended up pulling a super hot girl that night.
Brad told me to get in set with Dane, and so I was talking to the other girl there. She was really hot. I tried to relate to her by asking about if she liked Yosemite, and I think that turned her off. Ultimately, it was just chodeversation. I need to fucking stop the chodeversation before attraction. She didn’t seem like someone who liked nature. This is a clear sign of non compatibility with me, but I think I should have tried some different approach honestly. This girl was fucking hot and I would have loved to hook up with her. I talked to Jeff about this later and he was like what does Brad do that you don’t? I didn’t reply, and he said Brad escalates physically. That shit is ridiculously correct. I was thinking yes, this is why I’m paying for this, please tell me more of my flaws. I saw Brad find some commonality with her pretty fast, and then get a high five from her. Then after she left from talking with me she went over to follow him. I could easily be doing that. I think high fiving is a really good way to start getting escalation and physicality. In addition, Brad’s demeanor was fucking bad ass. He just had this unflinching look about him as if he didn’t give a single fuck. It was incredibly unreactive. He actually left with this chick later. She was super hot to us, but he only likes asians so poor brad for having to fuck her lol.
Brad told me to get in a set with a different asian than before, and use the her friend to get to the asian girl afterward. I hiked over to them and I opened the black girl with the “I’m Chinese and I love balls line”. The asian girl was pretty offended and said that it was racist. I don’t think that it was racist, just random and crazy, but still I should be more sensitive to shit like that in the future. At the very least it shows poor judgement and social awareness. I was really not giving a single fuck at that moment in an entranced in the moment kind of way. This can actually be bad if you act like a retard. There is a middle ground there between blindly thinking you are awesome and being present and empathetic.
I went upstairs to look for some more girls but I couldn’t see anyone to approach and the herd was beginning to thin out overall. I was shoved in my head a tiny bit by the bad reaction that I got earlier atmittedly. I went back downstairs and saw a really cute girl. She was sitting at a table with 3 other women by her. I approached her directly and the conversation was going pretty well initially. She turned to face me and we talked about New York and stuff since she was from there. More chodeversation :’(. Her friend was turning 32 that night. I was trying to escalate physically but it felt awkward to do that with the friends standing right there. I think I need to develop more balls honestly. I don’t want to fucking hear nice to meet you ever again that shit is like hearing nails on a chalkboard. As Jeffy said, what it really means is “you’re a bitch and I’ll never fuck you.” I think this would have been easier with a wing though, perhaps I should have brought one in with me. They may have just been tired already, they ended up leaving after a few minutes of this conversation.
The night was dying and Jeffy said it’s the twilight hour. That means it’s the time to be slightly more aggressive and do more hand of god style opens. This is the kind of open that requires you to put your hand out and just look at the girl expectantly to come to you, but in a slightly stoned looking kind of way. I think this is pretty dope actually because I’m used to this stuff working in my favor from so much salsa dancing. I don’t think a girl has ever rejected dancing salsa with me when I do the hand of god open in that context. I got ignored a number of times with the hand of god approach, but it actually worked once also.
I hand of godded a blonde girl inside. She grabbed my hand and I came up to her and started trying to be physical fairly quickly. She was deescalating that while telling me that she needed to find her friends. She had a sort of interested but also scared and confused kind of vibe, it was bizarre. I think she half wanted me but then I was too boring, maybe because she de-escalated and my verbal game was not intense enough for the moment. Perhaps I could have been more forward with my intention and commanding with tonality. Perhaps I didn’t re-escalate fast enough or something. I am not sure what I could have done better here. I think I’ll go with when it is the twilight hour, lead more aggressively and convey intent more than you did before.
The final girl I talked to was this girl that I saw at 2:30ish. Jeff pushed me at her and told me to approach with “where’s the thing?”. It actually kind of worked and she and I were vibing very well after we found out that we had the same favorite DJ. I was trying to escalate hard and fast there, like on the open and many times after the open. She was sort of laughing and pushing me off any time I tried and I got the feeling that something was going on there. I waited with her while she got tacos and then two guys came up to ask for her to order some more. After she got them she went back to the guys, and I asked her how they all knew each other. She said that she was dating one of the guys and that he was her kids dad. I wished her a good night and bounced after a hug.
Thoughts / SP:
- Easy warm up sets can help get you into that social mind set
- Try to self amuse in a way that is socially acceptable, at least in the beginning
- Ask your wing what’s up when you walk into their set
- Take the opportunities to be more physical
- Stop doing the back touch thing because all guys do that and that shit puts me in a lame category immediately when I do it
- Lead girls 2 feet away from an awkward spot if they are in one to another place. Possibly with a dance move?
- Escalate physically on all girls, to get in the flow of it and practice more
- Physical escalation has to be more of a playful in and out type thing
- Engage the social group if there is a situation where they start examining you and shit
- Sometimes you should just get the insta and bounce
- I need to fucking stop the chodeversation before attraction.
- I think high fiving is a really good way to start getting escalation and physicality
- I don’t want to fucking hear nice to meet you ever again that shit is like hearing nails on a chalkboard
- Hand of god is dope
- When it is the twilight hour, lead more aggressively and convey intent more than you did before.
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