LR 6/26/15:

                I went out to a dance party in the center of Cambridge, MA. I have been living with two girls recently, G and M, which I have found is doing wonders for my game. I think it puts me in a mood where I can interact with women at all points in a non-reactive way. This is really key to doing well in the field. So one of them invited me to a dance party in Cambridge, and the other had a house party lined up for that night. The sheer amount of options is good as well, and you have higher value with girls on you.

                We go to the dance party, and not much happened honestly. I randomly danced with a fatty in the crowd, because it was hilarious. We then went to a burger place to get the beers there. I flirted with the cashier, and ended up talking to her for 5 minutes or so. I didn’t want more than practice, which I got. She sold me a massive beer and we drank for a bit. Then we headed to the party that night.

                We walked in and the place looked awesome. There were a bunch of people, and intricate paintings strewn about near sculptures and dark but colorful lighting.

                I was introduced to a girl by G in the hallway of the apartment after first entering. We will call her Israeli girl. It was a very cordial introduction. Soon afterward we had a quick discussion about the metal underwear suspended by chains swinging in the hallway. This sexualized her impression of me to her slightly. Then right after, I sort of floated away while one of my friends spoke with her. So this could be the first takeaway I did on Israeli girl, I think she subtly felt me leaving.

I separated from my friend group and started talking to people in the living room about one of the sculptures, it was a disgusting human colored slime mold caterpillar type thing with hairs coming out of it. I tried to talk to a two set of girls, but they were really absorbed with their phones. There was a tubby girl and a very cute one, they seemed to feel uneasy all night. Ike they stuck to their little group and didn’t adventure as far as I saw. So they didn’t really open and I sort of stumbled around, but felt unfazed, which enabled me to go try again. I should have tried to open with “I am just an average sized white Russian but I have values”.

 I walked into the living room and a girl popped out of a room, I opened somehow, I think I just introduced myself. She didn’t stop walking, she had a beer and a cig in hand, so I chose to follow her and keep a “it’s all part of the plan” frame. We went outside onto the balcony where she sat and was across from two seemingly gay kids being astounded by a phone conversation one of them was having. Phones are really gripping, people would often rather disappear into them then enjoy their immediate surroundings.

After this I opened a mixed two set to my left, a guy and a girl. The girl was kind of cute, but seemed like another one of those English majors with no direction. I told her, and she qualified herself to me by telling me she had an internship. She wasn’t that cute so I didn’t pursue it too hard aside from just having a regular conversation.

So then I walked inside, and saw my friends in the kitchen. I saw the Israeli girl that I had met in the hallway once again, talking with G. I asked where the beers were, and she offered to get me one. She got it for me and I said I love you, which was a spike. Then She even got me a bottle opener and opened it, which was cool. So the frame was set as her taking care of me, and that I am showing interest in her doing so. Cool. Then my friend group went to one of the rooms of the party, and I went with them, to see a different girl one of my friends knew. We meandered into that room, and I did a second natural takeaway, leaving Israeli girl.

In the room, we bullshitted about our lives and I tried to make a climbing date with the cute friend of G’s who we came to meet. She didn’t really agree, so I eased off a bit. We just went back to steady conversation. Hopefully I can set something up with her later she is pretty attractive. I heard “Trap Queen” by Feti Wap come on in the living room with the creepy human slime mold and the rat cage, oh yeah, there was a giant rat in a cage, and pulled one of my friends, M, to the living room to dance.

There were at least 15 people going HAM as one might say to Feti Waps unique auto-tuned and eyeless trap queen. Israeli girl was there and soon after we came close to each other, and I gave her a kiss since I felt the micro communications of her body. This was new for me… I really was calibrated to the very slight interactions of her hands with my body. The slightest pulls she made and pushes were clearly indicative of her attraction level in my mind, as well as with her conflicting interpretation of the attraction, she couldn’t commit to a pulling or pushing and was dong both based on my state fluctuations. This is good, I was setting the frame and she was reacting to me, hard. I kissed her and she said she had a boyfriend, and he was outside on the porch, so she can’t do this. Cool. I rolled off a bit. Takeaway number three. I went back and danced with people for longer.

Then I found a hammer on top of the rat cage, thank the lord that I found this. This turned out to be a tool of such creativity for people at the party it was astounding. I handed the hammer to G, with the clear expectation that she would smash the fuck out of the wall now. Oh yeah, did I not mention it was that kind of party? Yes, it was a come destroy my house kind of party. G asked if she could smash the wall, and one of the people living there just said “you gotta do, what you gotta do.” The whole house was filled with rad fucking people. G fucked up the wall pretty epicly, but didn’t do shit compared to Israeli girl. She came back I walked up and spiked her emotions with some kino, to get her sexually frustrated. She then said that she was extremely frustrated and that her situation was fucked with her boyfriend. Then I gave her the hammer. She went at the wall like a writer facing their block. It was awesome, The picture is posted below. This is possibly the most creative emotional spike I have ever come up with – some of my best pick up art. This destruction was caused by the force my sexuality exerted on Israeli girl. LMAO. At least partially. I also made it my snap chat story.

Then Israeli girl left again running away somewhere into the party. I kept dancing and hanging out with the new living room people that I was meeting. The friend of G’s from earlier came in and I tried to kino with her a bit. I grabbed her hand and interlaced our fingers, twirling it around on my left. It felt surprisingly natural and easy… I think I will have to integrate this into more sets in the future. She was the hostess so she quickly got distracted and ran away, but I still learned that from her a bit. I tried to talk to her about Europe since she wanted to go, but it was to no avail. I think I should have added more pushes or spikes with her that were negative. She was getting bored and I couldn’t hold her attention. I think I need to calibrate to this fact. Look at the role of the girl within the context of the environment, and calibrate my game to her social standing. Like if the girl is a host, you have to do more to keep her interested than regular game. More pushes are needed. It’s probably the same with hot girls who think they have the highest value in the environment.

I don’t remember exactly how this context arose, but I was standing on the balcony/porch with Israeli girl and next to her. I got her a lighter for her cigarette, and then smoked a bit of it with her. She let me play with her back a bit and escalate that way, which I was thinking was going to be okay, because she was next to me, so it was only us who would know this was going on. This goes back to RSD Julien’s concept of watching out for the Michael, that has helped me a lot to visualize when it’s okay to escalate and how to make it a judgment free place for women. If you don’t know that concept, you have to look up the Michael analogy. It has single handedly made me really aware of all judgment as well as female psyche in those situations with a simple analogy. I got it from PIMP which is a great product. So since it was hidden, she allowed me to escalate, and later mimicked that escalation with me, but that time she initiated.

Later I was in the kitchen with Israeli girl, and she said she was going to bed. I said good bye to her, but I did something really well calibrated that got be the lay. I think this was the defining reason why I fucked her. Before she left, I picked her up with the spin hug and kissed her in the air. Another massive attraction spike. Attraction is not a choice – doing this then doing a take away was probably just like tearing at her with a desire to depart from her boyfriend.

She left for a bit to “go to sleep” while I went to hang out with G and her boyfriend. I spoke to her boyfriend quite a bit, and he asked me what the biggest thing I ever climbed was. My ego was excited to spray so I vented it a bit, showing him my pictures of my ascents of El Cap and Half Dome. Israeli girl sort of creeped up next to me, and I sensed her there, but didn’t immediately turn to her like a chode, even though she was sort of playing with my side like I did with her earlier. Thanks Tyler Durden for illustrating this in the blueprint, it’s the shit. Don’t immediately give the girl all your attention like a chode, finish the conversation. Then It was just a logistical discussion from there onward.

I pulled her to my house/bed and went to the bathroom, to show her that it was a relaxed environment where she could leave at any point. Then I came back and her shirt was off, so I got the lay.

This was a really fucking fun way to break a three month dryspell, and the first time I have fucked a girl whose boyfriend was at the fucking venue. He hadn’t fucked her in 5 months apparently, and this was really adding to her frustration. So we broke each other’s dry spells.

Thoughts/Sticking Points:

-          Don’t immediately give the girl all your attention like a chode, finish the conversation.

-          Look at the role of the girl within the context of the environment, and calibrate my game to her social standing.

-          Grabbing, interlacing, and playing with the hand/s is the shit and is an easy and a cute/fun way to kino

-          Look out for Michael and ensure the judgment free environment, whether it’s emanating from you or the surroundings

-          Let natural spikes drive the interaction like attraction boosts. Us them as a tool to move things in the direction suitable for the situaton

FR: 5/17/2015

                So I went out tonight. Best night I’ve had in a while, because I have honestly been shit lately. Regardless, here it goes.

                I go to my buddies crib to pregame. We drink a fair amount, and head to the location of the boat. We went to a concert on a boat, and I was opening alone for the entire first part of the night. I open the first girl at a bar we stopped at before we even got on the boat. She was truly beautiful and I walked up to her because why the fuck not. I told her that she was cute and that I wanted to meet her. She told me her name. Tia I think. I talked to her for a sec and her friend began to chime in, and asked how old I was. I told her I was 23 and she said I was a baby. I responded kind of jokingly that she should be my mom and show me how to live my life. I was trying to challenge her and be flirty and joke sort of. I think I was too serious and wasn't smiling enough when I did this which caused her to feel uneasy/scared maybe. I’m not sure if she got it and it may have come off as trying hard. I need to relax with the friend I was trying to flirt, but it was the first set and those usually are shit anyway. So after this stupid banter the friend told me to ask Tia something. Tia said that being rude to her friend was not a good way to meet her. I tried to tell her that I was joking but she didn’t see it as funny. I fucked up here, and probably came off as really uncalibrated and try hard. Whatever, first set of the night. Also this really made the rest of the night easier because I tried to speak with a really sexy girl as the first approach and so the other girls weren't that intimidating as a result of this.

                Next thing I knew my friends and I were on the boat on the top floor. This was chill and we were just dancing and bullshitting. I opened the group next to us to see if there was any potential there. One of the girls mentioned Camp Bisco and I saw that as an in. I started talking to her and she was really receptive but she informed me that one of the guys in the group was her boyfriend and kept alluding to him. So I knew it wouldn't really go anywhere. We had a lot of commonalities about Colorado (they were from there) and that was entertaining. I eventually went back to my friends and danced a bit.

                Later I went to the bar downstairs . I got drinks and met a girl at the bar in the process. She was talking to a guy next to us as well and we chatted a bit and were joking around. Treating the entire venue as a set is much easier than just going for the girls because you don’t give a fuck about any single thing panning out and spread value around as opposed to giving any certain person your time and looking needy, or acting like you absolutely need it to work. I like this strategy and it makes you more congruent and real (as opposed to gamey). I double fisted my way back up to the deck and drained my drinks, mindlessly hanging with my friends for a little. I say mindlessly because we were relaxing and grooving and not working toward approaching. 

                Then I went down to the bathroom. On the way back to the deck, I spotted a really sexy blonde girl, and opened her. It was really on from the moment I got in and I was being physical with her in a way that I hadn’t been able to in a while. I felt like I was integrating the RSD stuff about being physical from the open and it was really making her more attracted. I could tell that she wanted me because she was giving good eye contact and expressing that she felt connected to me through some random commonalities we had. At one point when things were stalling out I wanted to reinitiate the flirtyness so I asked her if she had a boyfriend. When she said no I asked her if she would be my girlfriend. This is risky but it worked fucking perfectly and she giggled and was more receptive to me since she saw it was a joke. After enough pulling her into me I lifted her up with the spin hug and said “kiss me”. This is honestly new for me to do this. Recently I have been a bit intense about trying to get explicit consent in every larger step of a pull. Like a kiss, or sex. But that results in a lot of fuck ups. Perhaps too many for my comfort level. Now I know that sounds fucked but the thing is, you can command, and not initiate. If the girl agrees here, I think this is consent but without you explicitly asking. Asking looks fucking needy and you're asking for permission and the girl has to always say no as a rule to not look like a slut. So you command... But step off immediately if there is resistance. And in this case it went over well. The spin hug is fucking money and she really enjoyed it. She said hold on I need to put on lipstick and I put her back on the ground while she reached in her bag to put it on. I guess she wanted to mark me or something. This is consent she took ten seconds to do this so I would say that is a tacit agreement, kind of like putting on a condom. It's awkward but consent can come in the form of doing things that are non-sexual that can necessarily only lead to a sexual act sometimes. She put it on then kissed me on the cheek and I told her to give me a real kiss and we made out for a sec. It was fucking awesome to get a result. I have been in a dry spell recently for various reasons and just this kiss with a really beautiful girl was a rush. After this I put her down and tried to do some “what would you do if” stuff from PIMP by Julien. I think it came off as uncalibrated and she didn’t like it. (Note to self don’t do this until we are deep into comfort). She said she wanted to find her friends so I got her number and bounced. Honestly I should have worked this harder.

After this I did something like 5 approaches in a row on the boat and got blown out of all of them. I am having some trouble with group sets and getting the girl away from her friends.

I opened a girl and things were just stalling out as soon as I opened. I think I wasn't able to mess with my facial expressions and tonality in a way that hooked enough. It was boring and died...

I opened one girl in a train of girls and her friend basically was like NO and tried to body block her away from me. What the fuck was that? I was pissed but I let it go because dwelling will only make my night way worse and is something only chodes do.

           That was really fucked and I got a bit defeated so I went to chill with my friends a bit more after these kept exploding in my face. But also the sets were kind of running out we were on a boat.

                I opened a really cute Asian girl once we were off the boat who had just picked up the phone when I went to talk to her and she wandered away as soon as I got there. I should’ve yelled at her to get off it maybe. I should try that next time.

After much drunken shouting through Boston my friends and I made it to the Black Rose. My buddy dared me to go up and start dancing in the middle of 3 hotties on the dancefloor. This wasn’t a regular dance floor, they were pretty much the only people there for a performance of an Irish group with a fiddler and shit. I went and did it regardless and started joking with one of the girls. She was into it for a minute then informed me that her bf was in the bar and walked away. I think my direct method is saving me lots of time. As in, if they read my body language, tonality, and subcomms correctly they will know I don’t want to be friends and I am man to woman. They end it if it won’t work and that’s perfect so that I’m not standing there wasting 20 minutes on a useless set. The direct (lazer) eye contact is key and so is being direct with your intentions. You have to be full hearted and clearly into them. If you do this and are man to woman cold approach has a higher chance of working. They can also tell you are direct even if you are discussing random shit that has nothing to do with hitting on them. In this case I talked about how I missed being a farmer in Ireland and my dog that would herd sheep and cattle with me. 

Then I slipped into a set with next to a seated girl and talked with her for a bit. She was giving me really good eye contact and I was working her hard, but she was too fucking boring so I walked away to get back to my friends. I need to get better at getting the interesting qualities out of people.

They wanted to “invade” a group of girls at a table. This was perfect, my approaching all of these ladies probably reignited some desire to talk to random girls in them which they don’t normally have any more since they both have girlfriends. So they distracted the grenades (to be blunt) while I got free reign to talk to the fox of the group. She was extremely cute and it turns out she is a climber so we are going to climb a big cliff next Saturday in NH if all goes well. So I’m psyched and had a fun fucking night despite not going out for like 2 weeks from slacking. I guess my game is actually pretty decent. With momentum I could become so much better. I wish I had a regular wing to be honest I have to get one.

Thoughts/SP:

1.       The spin hug is money as fuck I need to do it ASAP in set

2.       The “do you have a boyfriend” line is really good for transitioning into flirty communication/testing to see if she can tell if I’m joking

3.       I am better while drunk/approach more – this is a crutch but fuck it helps

4.       Stupid commonalities ignite attraction

5.       Be physical ASAP

6.       Work sets harder, I shouldn’t have bailed

7.       I can really get good at this. The girl I made out with tonight was possibly one of the most gorgeous women that I have ever kissed. That is a huge confidence booster and I legitimately felt more attractive afterward. In a sense this is bad though because my state is dependent on responses when it shouldn’t be. Overall I am getting better at not caring if things blow up though and eliminating it from my conscious

8.       I truly think that meditating this morning helped my ability to react in the moment and act as if I was using my full repertoire of game tools in real time. I think I should do it for 20 minutes a day, or at least before I go out. 

Lay Report (Solid Week):

                I’ve been having a great week and I want to share this experience and think about why it went so well. I fucked two girls this week, and completed my longest pull ever (5 years).

                Redhead: My first redhead, she was probably about a 6/7. This was in Boston. Redhead hit me up on Tinder. I learned from the program that this is pretty much a sure sign that she wants me, and that all I have to do is not fuck it up. So I took Redhead out to a bar close to my house. I met her there and was a bit thrown off by her strange look, she had a haircut that was pretty awkward but it would do.

                We went outside after a short while to smoke and I made out with her fairly smoothly. After the bar closed we went back to my house and we went to my bed pretty much immediately. So the total time from when Redhead hit me up to the time I sealed the deal was about 3.5 hours. Once again, the good old interwebs are coming through for me.  Pretty much no testing from this girl, just stimulating conversation.

                Kairn: The 5 year pick up. She is a 7/7.5. This is my longest pull by far, the last longest one was about 3 months total I think. So I have learned a lot from this. I previously thought I had blown it completely.

2013:

                This is what happened. About two years ago Kairn and I made out on a roof and I pushed too hard for sex, so she got creeped out by me and left me awkwardly. I thought this was the end of it at this point. But now I know it wasn’t. This lead me to the revelation that it is far harder to fuck up a set than one may think. Your ability to pull is more dependent on your game at the time than on your history with the girl.

2015:

                So I’m back in Colorado now and my buddy who knows Kairn told me that I could probably bang her, and that she is single and has high standards now etc. I feel that my worth as a male has recently increased a lot to girls, because I finally found a job that has me constantly getting after my so called “higher purpose”. I can see that the attraction stuff I do hit harder in their eyes now, on occasion. But social circle and online game feels several levels easier than cold approach.

                I meet up with my friend and Kairn, at the house where I’m staying. We drink a bit and head out to the bars. Before we leave, I take her aside and apologize for being weird two years ago. This cleared the air in a sense between us. We hop from one bar to the next and meet up with friends calling me to chill before I go. In the second bar, my target is decides she wants to leave to meet up with some girlfriends. She promises to hang out with me later and wants to show me her sincerity by having me kiss my hand or something while our hands are interlaced. I told her that I want a real kiss and got a short make out at the bar booth. So that went smoothly, I then deescalated and continued a regular conversation until she left.

                We met up the next day to climb with our mutual friend. During the day I was getting massively tested Kairn and had to keep my wits about me to beat them. She called me an amateur at climbing and told me to leave her alone because she was tired etc. I ignored them or exaggerated and got to make out with her a bit more outside at the climbing area.

                Finally we met up later that night to go to a concert together with our mutual friend. It was on the whole time and we danced together all night. Lots more testing ensued, the classic “I’m not going to have sex with you” and ignoring me to talk to her girlfriends while I was trying to pull her to the house I was staying at. I passed the sex test with no we are just going to cuddle, and the ignoring me for her friends test by just walking away until she fell into my frame by coming up to me.

                After this we came to the house I was at and got a blowjob with minimal lmr but she wouldn’t fuck, so we drove back to her place, where I finally sealed the deal after five years. Also Kairn’s dad thought I was a homeless person so he hid all of their knives. Classic.

                I feel that it is actually far harder than it seems to fuck up a set beyond repair. This lowers the cost of mistakes in my mind and makes the game seem like less of a fucking acrobatic maneuver that needs to be executed flawlessly. There is no failure, only an incomplete set. (Just don’t be a fucking sociopath).

                The difference in skill required for online and social circle game as opposed to in person in the club game is astounding. My ability to pull is just on point in these easier scenarios and it makes me think investment in cold approach game might be a waste of time. I want to take a bootcamp or something to get better, or get a good wing. I don’t like being beaten by a challenge so I refuse to give up but I will tip the time I spend on seduction toward easier types of game in the future.

Thoughts / SP:

1.       The game is harder to lose than one may think

2.       Devoting a night to one girl and escalating/deescalating got the second lay in the bag

3.       Change my limiting beliefs about in person game to make something more suitable for when I approach. Also remember to switch up approach tactics and go into sets with goals

Lay Ups: 3 easy lay reports

     This is a compilation of 3 lays that I have had in recent months. I originally didn’t want to write a report on them because I felt they were too easy. As in, I didn’t really have to game… all I had to do was not fuck up. Lately I’ve wanted to post them, now that there are three of them, to identify how I am able to solidify my ability to move the interaction towards sex easily when I am given the chance. I think that had I not gamed for six years on and off, I would not be able to recognize the obvious next step in the process and apply my experience to gaming girls who initiate me.

     Girl A: I me this girl through friends back when I lived in Boulder. This was an odd case because she more or less ignored me all night. She talked to me for about a minute any time I tried to initiate a conversation and would run away. This led me to believe I had no chance and so I just drank more and was confused by the general events. Also I hit on her friend more, which I later found out made girl A think I was going after her friend.

     The night was coming to an end and we decided to end it as many nights do, getting Cosmo’s pizza. At Cosmo’s, I was eating pizza with my buddy when his girlfriend called him. She reported that girl A wanted me to be dropped off at her house. I was taken aback but I decided to go.

     I show up at Girl A’s house, she is on the couch. I walk in and my buddy's girlfriend leaves girl A 

and I alone. She walks me into her room. We lay in bed and talk for 30 minutes and make each other laugh, she cuddles me. Eventually I go for the kiss. I get it. She stops me and says “wait I thought we were just going to cuddle” … easy shit test. I responded “we are” and just started taking her clothes off. Etc.

Girl B: Girl B hit me up on OKC. I have been doing online game, and thanks to Jeffy’s “The Program”, it’s a fucking breeze.

     She hit me up with hi. I got her to come on a date with me. We met up and had food, it was fairly laid back, but I couldn’t understand her to well because her English was awful. Doesn’t fucking matter I pulled her back to my house like a badass. Didn’t even ask if she wanted to come I just paid, got up and left and she followed. We got to my crib and got in bed to watch a movie. No LMR. This took 2 hrs totalish.

Girl C: This girl initiated a conversation with me on tinder. Now Jeffy said to look out for this because it takes a fair amount of effort on the girls part, swiping and messaging. So I got her out to the bar, and was on my fucking A game. I went in for a make out at the bar but she said not here. Regardless, I knew this would make me more attractive because I went for it, so I wasn’t worried. I pulled her back to my house the same way, as in I assumed she was coming home with me. I knew she biked, so I asked her how big her bike was, indicating I would put it in my car, not asking whether or not she was coming. She said she was thinking she would leave it here. Meaning she already decided she was going to go home with me. When we got to my room, she sat on my bed. I sat next to her, and she attacked me. Alley oop. 

Thoughts:

1. Shit tests are getting easy… I just pass them with the least amount of effort or make them funny

2. Lead don’t ask for permission

3. Going in for the kiss is the right call if you feel you should, it only makes you more attractive

FR: 12/18-20 Explorations

                This field report is going to basically go over two separate nights.

                Thursday: I met up with some friends to head to the Mat Zo concert. We pregamed a bit at Flow’s house, and had some conversation about books and more. It was good to get social before heading out by getting comfortable being out of my head.

                We headed to the Royale and got inside. I went back outside with KingMelons to smoke, and saw a really hot 2 set. I opened them directly, and told them I wanted to talk to them because they were cute. It went fairly well from the beginning, and we thought of some friends in common and talked about casual shit like travelling and music. They told me they were rolling, so I didn’t want to pursue it further since I was just drunk. I have become uncomfortable with the idea of hitting on girls who are that fucked up since they aren’t themselves really. So I kind of the set when we went back inside and they went to the dance floor, but it was no big deal.

                Melons and I went to meet up with a girl who has been in our friend group for a bit, and we found her with a different crew. We talked a bit, and then Melons left her and I alone. I remember bumping into her jokingly with my ass, and after that she was all over me and we were making out. I don’t exactly know how this happened… Anyway I was unsure of whether I wanted to take her home or not. Later in the night I went and found her, realizing that I wanted to, and said “I want to take you home.” I think this was retarded in retrospect, I could have just as easily said “let’s go watch a movie.” This would have had no sexual implication. Honestly I don’t know if that really made a difference ultimately, since she turned it down anyway and said we should just get food later in the week. So it’s all good I am trying to make that happen at the moment.

                I opened another girl next to me on the dance floor, and told her I like her style. She kind of nonchalantly kept dancing so I didn’t try too hard. After this we decided to leave because the sound system at the Royale was so fucking overwhelming we were all in pain.

                Saturday: I went out to a dinner party with some friends where we played Cards Against Humanity. It was kind of boring but it got me in a social mood before we headed out.

                I met up with other friends to go to the Scholar. Great fucking venue by the way I loved it. I did one approach simply asking what a girl’s name was. She told me her name was Daria and we talked about Beavis and Butthead for a sec, but I think she was egging me on to hit on her because her alpha BF was nearby and she wanted a reaction. Or maybe she was just drunk who the fuck knows. Anyway he walked up next to her and grabbed her, completely alphaing me, I was just watching and came up with a quick way to not get hit in the face. I said that he shouldn’t worry about me because I’m gay, to which he responded that he could tell. So that was that and I left.

                Later I approached this girl who I spent about an hour talking to. She seemed chill and well put together, I liked how our conversation was flowing easily. I asked her Mark Manson’s polarizing questions. 1. Are you single? 2. Do you think I’m cute. 3. Why aren’t you making out with me. She responded that she wasn’t single but didn’t really have a bf. What? So I took that as not a rejection at the time. I decided to keep going with her and keep a conversation going. About 30 minutes later I tried to kiss her again and she said she can’t, not now. I got her number but I texted her today and she hasn’t responded. At this point I feel like I wasted an hour. So in the future when I ask the three questions, if the girl has a boyfriend or even a smidgen of a relationship, I should just fucking leave and not waste my time. I mean fuck. This was just stupid that I invested that much effort into it for her to blow me off.

                Saturday sucked but at least I got into a conversation, which shows I’m making progress. I don’t usually have long conversations with girls out. Also I didn’t get blown out really at all this weekend, which is huge for me. My approaches are getting dialed.

Thoughts/SP:

1.       When going for the pull, say something innocuous

2.       Don’t waste time if she has a BF, I could have found a more receptive girl that night if I kept looking. Maybe find a better way to define the line between unresponsive and neutral.

3.       My style has been improving, and that gave me significantly more confidence and better reactions this weekend. I should stick with well-fitting clothing and matching clothing etc.

4.       Remember to address the social awkwardness that comes with cold approach (I know this is weird that I’m just coming to talk to you blah blah). That worked wonders for making a girl more comfortable at first. 

FR: Holly Jolly Santacon

12/6/2014

I went out dressed as Santa Claus tonight. It was a Santacon spectacle. 

Here is what happened:

I approach one girl in a group of 5 girls. Her name was Jen, but that was the last thing I heard from her before I ejected from the set. It was going decently well, but I remember Jen stepping away from me backward while we were talking. I was doing better than I usually do for a first opener… I was trying to use Jeffy’s idea of saying something other than hi to initiate the conversation. Good afternoon worked far better than hi normally does to his credit.

We bullshitted but I can’t remember about what exactly. Her friend to the left of me started interjecting. She pulled my Santa beard on my face then started dancing. It seems like she was maybe doing this as a shit test or just to see what I would do. Jen seemed to ignore me once my attention was on her friend. Then they were both ignoring me so it got awkward and I left. I probably should have stayed in set but it was getting weird. Maybe I should work on not ejecting honestly. I can’t remember what we talk about at all god damn, drinking is not good for remembering gaming.

The next girl I approached walked in front of me at the bar… like she was going to cut me. I asked her if she could buy me a drink since she would get drinks sooner than me anyway. Her friend behind her was really cute and so I asked her what she was dressed as. She said she was a snowman. She didn’t give me her undivided attention, and kept looking between her phone and her friend buying the drinks. I should maybe try to get undivided attention harder if possible in these situations. It seemed like it wasn’t happening with her. I reinitiated when she was fucking with her little hat which was on her head that looked like a birthday cone. I made them laugh about it but again it stalled out. 2 sets are hard, because the friends keep distracting the girl. I need to only do two sets if I have a wing. I just walked away because it wasn’t going anywhere.

The next set I did was outside the venue. There was a really cute girl so I walked up to her and asked her if she would be my Mrs. Claus. She was smiling and seemed receptive. However she was looking at her friend and the friend seemed unhappy with me hitting on the girl. She was eventually said “bye” to me in a pretty rude way. It is kind of shitty that these friends don’t give their homies a chance. I tried to stay and save it for a bit but I don’t really know what to do in that situation. Her friend was just awkwardly trying to get me to leave (I just remembered that I should try Tyler’s attempt at disabling the cock block by offering to buy the friend dinner). My buddies were leaving the set so I just rolled the fuck out with them.

So later I did a set in the next bar we went to. I opened the set by spilling my drink on their feet by accident because someone walked into me (LOL). So that one went fairly well, I talked to her for like twenty minutes, but honestly it ended up going nowhere. We had a sort of ongoing joke about her being santas helper and me being santa but that seemed to be the only topic of the conversation and when I tried to move it forward it didn’t exactly go anywhere. Anyway I had a good revalation from this set. It was that when people call me young, or say I’m too young to be hitting on them (which happens quite a bit) I can reframe this. The way I did it was by saying “you guys aren’t that old, c’mon now!” So this assumes that I am not young, just that they have low self-esteem, and I am boosting their confidence actually. It is a pretty simple frame control adjustment. I will have to use this in the future. The set stalled out and I tried to use social proof to get back in a bit by interacting with my friends, which they walked near. But this didn’t work, because I tried to take a selfie with the girl but she wouldn’t do it when I reengaged. Maybe I should allow more time to take place between sets? I don’t really know but the thing failed so I moved on.

The last set I did was a disaster because I couldn’t hear the girl. But I approached her with a natural friend of mine and learned a bit from watching him. He was very grounded when talking to his girl. He seemed like he was getting somewhere with her when the girl I was trying to talk to pulled his girl away because our conversation was going nowhere. I have to be more relaxed I think, it seems to go well this way.

Thoughts/SP:

1.       1. I just remembered that I should try Tyler’s attempt at disabling the cock block by offering to buy the friend dinner

2.       2. Deflect the young shit test by assuring the girl she isn’t old

3.       3. Be more laid back and unreactive

4.       4. Do more sets

5.       5. Learn how to keep attention better or demand it

6.       6. Stay in set longer/ don’t eject 

FR: Resolve

Logistics: September 24th,25th 2014

Venues: The Fox, The Dark Horse
Girls: Madison, S

               This is going to be a field report of going out on Wednesday night, and day 2ing a girl I picked up on Thursday night. Let’s call her Madison.

               I get home with a buddy and we join the pregame for the concert we were going to. I decided not to drink on this particular night, because I had been drinking for an entire week straight before and the hangover was real. Instead I took some oxy and enjoyed the subtle changes that accompany its musical perception alteration. I resisted pressure to drink and didn’t have a single drink all night. We left the pregame with a crew of 10ish people, and headed to the venue, the Fox in Boulder CO.

               We got there and things were starting off slowly. Fort Knox, Little People's opener, was bad and my friends and I waited in the lobby and chatted. It was cool to see people that I wouldn’t for a while, and the conversations unhitched me into state to some extent.

               We go back into the venue and the opening act was finished. I spotted a cute girl who was my TA for a class I took and I opened telling her I recognized her. I asked who the guy she was standing with was, and she said it was her boyfriend. Can’t really do anything there, so we just had an interesting discussion about life as an EBIO major and our options for employment. Her boyfriend was cool and let us talk without interruption, he turned to his other friends instead. The music started up and our conversation ended. Little People (the DJ) was fucking phenomenal so for the rest of the night until we left I was entranced the music. Seriously go get Little People’s album We Are But Hunks of Wood now. 

                A girl in the crew I came with, S, was talking to me for a bit and we were dancing. This was cool, I felt like I had a chance with her because she hovered around me for some time. We danced but she wouldn’t get physical with me really mostly we were just in each others space, and then she began scurrying around our friends at the venue so I lost interest kind of.

               Then I saw a really sexy girl. Madison was wearing a red dress and dancing in her own way unlike anyone around. It was instantly attractive. She shot down one of the kids I came with trying to dance with her. I said fuck it and gave it a chance, in a way that wasn’t aggressive like the previous kid. I tapped her and told her I thought she was cute. Madison responded that I was cute as well. After that we kind of just danced near each other for a bit. I was kind of unable to dance and get into it though because I was taken aback by being up next to her and seeing how cute she was. I wasn’t really able to focus on the music anymore just on her. Then another girl who came with us, B, ran up and smashed me into Madison and squeezed me from behind. I was in a girl sandwich and getting social proof. I knew this wasn’t what Madison wanted though, as she ran away after. I said fuck it and went after her. I wasn’t about to give up because of B’s aggression. B is about 6’ 4” so she can manipulate smaller people like toy soldiers.

               I walked up to Madison and said “these big girls can’t take no for an answer”. I was asking her to protect me from B and this turned into a conversation about European travel. We were speaking closely into each other’s ears because the music was so loud. I was thinking about what my natural friend told me at this moment, which helped. He said to be different, to say things other guys who were boring wouldn’t. I used this advice to make her laugh and make dumb jokes that were out of the ordinary. Things were going well and I was thinking of trying to bounce her to a dark part of the Fox when B ran up again in a drunken stupor and smashed us together as if we were chess pieces. Again Madison ran away awkwardly and I was getting mad at her this time. I pushed her back and said that I didn’t need help but it was a bit too late and Madison had already run.

               I’m going to talk about this next part to illustrate some of Tyler’s ideas about dismissing negativity. TD from RSD talks about the point that you should dismiss negativity, and not let it influence your frame. I was talking to my buddy about being pissed at B for cock blocking me, and told him that I felt I was getting close to pulling Madison. Some guy behind me said “No you weren’t”. I shrugged and turned around from him. Good thing I dismissed him, because I pulled her later that night. I ran up to her outside the venue, and told her that I was sorry about B, and that she was doing better now I thought.

               I ended up getting her email because she didn’t have a phone, which was fine by me, because I want to pull her by any means necessary. She’s extremely sexy and I am changing my mindset to one of a closer instead of an ambivalent gamer who lets chips fall where they may. Fuck that, I ran after her twice after cock blocks and pulled her email. NEVER GIVE UP if she isn’t directly rejecting you.

               I emailed her all day yesterday when she was at computers, and we ended up meeting up at 1030 at a bar. We talked for a while and Madison was giving me the dilated pupil type of I’m really attracted to you look. I moved her up to the second floor and I told her that she was really attractive and I wanted to kiss her. She told me that she didn’t want to make out with me then, but that she wanted me to know that she found me really attractive. I didn’t need that affirmation, but it was sweet of her to give it. I backed off and waited for another opportunity. This is great though in fact, because she now saw that I'm the type of guy who goes for the kiss, even if I didn't get it instantly. This is useful to remember. It is always better to go for it, because you gain attraction whether or not you get it, and can only lose attraction if you don't go for it. 

               We went back to her house for wine and drank together, talking about our families and passions on her balcony. She was getting more attractive to me throughout the conversation, because her wit is really unmatched by any woman I’ve been with before. She is probably one of the smartest people I have ever met. We ended up making out on the couch for a bit, and I tried to stop the making out to talk more for a bit, but it didn’t really work. I was drawn back into the making out and couldn’t easily stop. I should have stopped it though, to show her that I have restraint and care about her personality as much as her physical appeal. That was all we did, she said she wasn't ready for sex. She kicked me out of her house at 12 because she had an early appointment the next day. I don’t really know if I could have busted through this to sex, I don’t think you always can.

               She told me to email her when I’m back in town to set something up. She suggested that she would come over to my place next time. This was a really fun pick up and I learned a lot from it. 

Thoughts/SP:

1. Not drinking can give you a useful clear head, allowing you to learn from watching much more

2. A setback is a cockblock only if you let it be, otherwise it just becomes a sloppier pickup

3. It is always better to go for a kiss, because you gain attraction whether or not you get it, and can only lose attraction if you don't go for it.