Thursday, February 27, 2014

FR: Flying Solo

Logistics:
Wednesday, 2/26/14

FR:
               I went out alone for the first time yesterday. I could only manage about an hour and a half out. I was feeling lots of pressures that I need to settle from the environment. People are really not as mean as they seem when you’re out alone, and I have to internalize that a bit more. Here’s my recollection.

               I walk into the Walrus and try to get into a set immediately. There weren’t to many people there so I just walked into the first 4 set I saw on my left. I was trying to come into interactions with a frame of just having fun with no attachment to getting laid. I talked to one girl on the left for about 5 minutes about random shit like where she was from and the color purple. Things were stalling out a bit then one of the girls told me she was a lesbian so I got frozen out hard. It was a warm up set though so I didn’t really expect it to go well.

               I then approached two girls in the corner sitting on the couch. We got into a long interesting conversation about Texan culture and guns. They weren’t too attractive though, I just wanted to talk to them to keep a social feeling going. That went on for about 20 minutes, and then they got up and went to get a drink. They basically froze me out that way but I didn’t care too much I was just trying to chill with them for a bit. I went on to the next bar and talked to some random guy for a while, to stay social. The bar there only had mixed sets and I didn’t feel like doing those.

               I left that bar and headed to the Downer, where I approached a couple of girls, one was really attractive in some interesting designs. I discovered that one of them was a designer so that was interesting except they both eventually ran away. I’m having problems keeping sets hooked again; my conversations keep stalling out for some reason. After that I approached two girls at the bar, this was my best set of the night even though it didn’t really go perfectly. I talked to one blonde girl and was joking around with her immediately from after asking what her name was. She seemed funny and we were vibing pretty well at the bar. She and her friend got drinks and then I followed her back to the middle of the bar area where I got her isolated. We got into comfort a bit and I was throwing hoops at her to jump through. She answered all my questions seriously so I knew she was attracted. I was escalating kino and things were going pretty well, it got kind of sexualized. Then her friend came over and whispered something in her ear. Right after she asked for my name, and I told her. Then I couldn’t remember hers. She left after that. So that was disappointing that it stalled out like that but forgetting her name was kind of a mistake. Maybe I lost my state a bit and she saw hesitation when I forgot it, or neediness/ nervousness that she would leave. I think I just have to develop the ability to bring positive emotions from within myself in a stronger way. That could help me with reactivity in these situations.

               After that I did another 2 set in the downer and it was going pretty well, we got into some interesting discussions and I was incorporated into the conversation as if I was their friend seamlessly. It was trippy how easily it opened. After a while though one of the girls said they wanted to go talk to their other friends and left with her.

               I tried to go back to the Walrus after that but the two sets I opened just failed badly. I had been out for only an hour and a half but felt over it, partially because of the lack of people out on a Wednesday. I drove home.

Thoughts/SP:
-        I have to stop relying on women for my emotions so that I can stay in state for longer periods of time
-        Work on not losing hooked sets, maybe I should stick with my strengths in keeping interest, ie: being goofy and making girls laugh
-        Get better at mixed sets
-        Overall going out alone was really interesting and a lot more self-motivated, you have to just hammer away at approaching and sets because there are no wings for you to go join or chode out with.
               

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