Logistics:
Wednesday, 2/26/14
FR:
Wednesday, 2/26/14
I went
out alone for the first time yesterday. I could only manage about an hour and a
half out. I was feeling lots of pressures that I need to settle from the
environment. People are really not as mean as they seem when you’re out alone,
and I have to internalize that a bit more. Here’s my recollection.
I walk
into the Walrus and try to get into a set immediately. There weren’t to many
people there so I just walked into the first 4 set I saw on my left. I was
trying to come into interactions with a frame of just having fun with no
attachment to getting laid. I talked to one girl on the left for about 5
minutes about random shit like where she was from and the color purple. Things
were stalling out a bit then one of the girls told me she was a lesbian so I
got frozen out hard. It was a warm up set though so I didn’t really expect it
to go well.
I then
approached two girls in the corner sitting on the couch. We got into a long
interesting conversation about Texan culture and guns. They weren’t too
attractive though, I just wanted to talk to them to keep a social feeling
going. That went on for about 20 minutes, and then they got up and went to get
a drink. They basically froze me out that way but I didn’t care too much I was just
trying to chill with them for a bit. I went
on to the next bar and talked to some random guy for a while, to stay social.
The bar there only had mixed sets and I didn’t feel like doing those.
I left
that bar and headed to the Downer, where I approached a couple of girls, one
was really attractive in some interesting designs. I discovered that one of
them was a designer so that was interesting except they both eventually ran
away. I’m having problems keeping sets hooked again; my conversations keep
stalling out for some reason. After that I approached two girls at the bar,
this was my best set of the night even though it didn’t really go perfectly. I
talked to one blonde girl and was joking around with her immediately from after
asking what her name was. She seemed funny and we were vibing pretty well at
the bar. She and her friend got drinks and then I followed her back to the
middle of the bar area where I got her isolated. We got into comfort a bit and I
was throwing hoops at her to jump through. She answered all my questions
seriously so I knew she was attracted. I was escalating kino and things were
going pretty well, it got kind of sexualized. Then her friend came over and
whispered something in her ear. Right after she asked for my name, and I told
her. Then I couldn’t remember hers. She left after that. So that was disappointing
that it stalled out like that but forgetting her name was kind of a mistake.
Maybe I lost my state a bit and she saw hesitation when I forgot it, or neediness/
nervousness that she would leave. I think I just have to develop the ability to
bring positive emotions from within myself in a stronger way. That could help
me with reactivity in these situations.
After
that I did another 2 set in the downer and it was going pretty well, we got
into some interesting discussions and I was incorporated into the conversation
as if I was their friend seamlessly. It was trippy how easily it opened. After
a while though one of the girls said they wanted to go talk to their other
friends and left with her.
I tried
to go back to the Walrus after that but the two sets I opened just failed
badly. I had been out for only an hour and a half but felt over it, partially
because of the lack of people out on a Wednesday. I drove home.
Thoughts/SP:
-
I have to stop relying on women for my emotions
so that I can stay in state for longer periods of time
-
Work on not losing hooked sets, maybe I should
stick with my strengths in keeping interest, ie: being goofy and making girls
laugh
-
Get better at mixed sets
-
Overall going out alone was really interesting
and a lot more self-motivated, you have to just hammer away at approaching and
sets because there are no wings for you to go join or chode out with.
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